Sunday, July 18, 2010

Full Circle

I'm amazed at God's provision for baby Joshua.

I've had some extra time on my hands over the past few days, so I decided to read back through my blog starting in February. That is when all of the pregnancy complications started. If you don't know already, at 11 weeks (and some odd days- a Sunday afternoon) I rushed myself to the ER gushing blood. I was sure I had miscarried or at least was in the process. I sat in the waiting area for my name to be called and begged and pleaded for God to have mercy on the tiny life inside me.

When I was called back to the room, I was told that I had a threatened miscarriage- whatever that meant. It seemed like an eternity before I was taken back for an ultrasound (I almost screamed at them to just get a doppler so we could find the heartbeat.) I was not expecting to see a healthy and thriving baby inside. Neither was the ultrasound tech.

After another eternity of waiting, the doctor came in and told me that I had something called a Subchorionic Hemorrhage. It was 3cm in length, which wasn't huge, but it's never good to have. I was told to follow up with my OB the next day and stay on strict bedrest until I could get into see her.

I went in that following Friday and had another ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that the hemorrhage had grown from 3cm to over 7cm in a matter of 5 days. I was basically told that the baby would not make it much longer. My doctor cried right alongside me. That was one of the worst days of my life- but it was the day that started our entire journey.

As I was reading through my February posts, I came across this post. Something struck me. This is a quote copied directly from that post:

"I know God has a purpose. I know He has a plan. I know that this WILL be used to glorify Him. But right now, I ask how? How can this be good?"

WOW. God had a purpose. He had a plan. He used the hemorrhage to glorify Him. It was GOOD!

Just 8 short weeks from that post, we would hear some of the most devastating news a parent can ever hear "There is something seriously wrong with your child's heart. He has one of the most severe heart defects a person can have."

But God knew. God prepared. God planned. God provided.

"How can this be good?" was my question. Had it not been for the hemorrhage, we would have probably never known about the heart defect. We would have been blindsided by it. Our child, our sweet Joshua, could have DIED if it had not been for that stupid hemorrhage.

Thank God for His goodness.


nabrissa said...


Stefenie said...

Great post Jill. At times it is hard to understand what God's plan is and to have faith that He knows what He is doing. However He does have the perfect plan for all of us. We just have to believe.

Carolina Carters said...

I'm glad you've gotten the first glimpse of God's plan...I bet you'll see many, many more! :)

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