Sunday, November 14, 2010

Be Quiet Now and Rest

This past year has been hell:

house fire
subchorionic hemorrhage
threatened miscarriage
baby born
open heart surgery
recovery
more open heart surgery
crashes
uncertainty
financial insecurity
seizures
tubes
wires
alarms
death
attacks
grief

We sprinted through those months keeping our eyes on what is important all the while knowing and accepting that Joshua may not come home with us. Loving him, and trusting in what God had in store for our lives.

Through all of it, God made Himself evident. Time and time again He reached down and spoke to us.

After Joshua died, the pain of our loss became our next sprint. Our pain, often times, has been unbearable as we said good bye to our son, were attacked viciously by complete strangers, and started to figure out life without Joshua.

We are tired. We can't keep up this sprint. Our minds, bodies, and spirits were not made to endure this heavy burden. We are running out of energy and simply cannot do it ourselves anymore.

Yet, God continues to speak. Through His Word, through friends, through worship.

God spoke to me today.

I was crying out to Him, begging Him to take away the pain. He made Himself evident through these words:

"Be quiet now and rest." 

"Don't worship, don't pray, dont read, don't talk, blog, cry, or scream. Be quiet. Do it now! Find Rest in ME."

In that instant, I calmed down my spirit, and I simply rested in the arms of Christ.

We so often find that we NEED to say something. That being quiet is being rude.

But God tells us to be quiet and rest in Him. Sometimes sitting in silence is the only comforting thing we can do.

I have a choice to make. I can either continue on with my sprint or I can choose to quiet my soul and let God provide my rest and comfort.

"Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4

Comforted in the Quiet.
Comforted in the Now.

Be Quiet.
Now.
Rest.





7 comments:

Heather said...

i have also been through times when God said, "be quiet and rest." asher wasn't doing well (CHF, open heart surgery, then more/worse CHF), then my bipolar disorder went out of control, then my marriage ended, then my church shunned and attacked me, my friends abandoned me... it was rough, and i was so wounded and grieving and scarred and scared and alone. and so, i hid, way back in a cave, where it was quiet and solitary. i rested in God, and in time, He healed me. it didn't happen overnight, and some of that pain still lingers, but i can live again with joy and hope. do what you have to do right now. it's ok. God is there with you, even (especially) in the moments you don't feel Him there. and He will just sit there with you, holding you, healing you, Loving you. it's ok. it's good. <3

Psalm 46:10a

Paula B said...

Be quiet and know that I AM GOD! Being quiet is very hard to do for some of us, especially me. I sit, my mind wanders about things going on around me, I think I must say something or do something. Being quiet and resting in a non-sleep mode is hard. But, like you, Jill, I felt God calling out to me today in worship to be quiet and rest. I am working on it. Blessings to you, Shane, Caleb, and Hannah. My love for Joshua is also there.

nabrissa said...

i'd love to see a list of how God intervened (or stayed quiet) in/following/prior to each of those hellish times... i remember you mentioning many of them as they were happening, or when you'd look back...

i love this though...The Lord has been working with me on just that, as well, 'cause Lord knows i have a hard time being quiet...

nabrissa said...

nabrissa said...
i'd love to see a list of how God intervened (or stayed quiet) in/following/prior to each of those hellish times... i remember you mentioning many of them as they were happening, or when you'd look back 'cause i remember him redeeming many of them in one way or another...just can't remember all the hows...

i love this though...The Lord has been working with me on just that, as well, 'cause Lord knows i have a hard time being quiet...

Cindy said...

So true!! I too have had a hard year, and in some ways I felt like God has used it to prepare me for one of the hardest times in my life. Your so right, I think when we hit rock bottom we finally get that all of the Christian life is resting in God's goodness and allowing Him to carry us. What a good place to be. Thank you so much for your post and so many of your other encouraging posts.

Marie said...

When my dad died semi-suddenly (he was only sick for 6 weeks and he he was only 43) there was this whirlwind for a few days of funerals, family, craziness. At the funeral home, I acted as a representitive for my family, handling greeting, chatting, details. I was also pregnant, though I didn't know it at the time. I looked around and a plaque on the wall caught my eye, "Be still and know that I am God". It was almost as if He were speaking directly to ME at that instant. "Oh", like a lightbulb went off in me, "ok". Though it's been 7 years (on halloween, this time of year is especially difficult), 3 babies and many happy times later, I still hold that in my heart and know He makes the right decisions, even if I don't like them.

waytenmom said...

Having just "met" you (thanks Kristi) I just want to pass along caring thoughts for your family - I will say prayers for you all.

 
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