Sunday, February 21, 2010

I've never felt Love like this before.


We use that word so often. We love our friends and family. We love someone elses purse or jeans. We love doing _________.

Have you ever truly experienced love?

I have been fortunate enough to experience love in some sort of way at least every day. Love my from my children, love from my husband. A kind word, or a warm meal brought to me by friends from church. Passionate love, motherly love, admiring love.

Today I experienced a love like I have never felt before.

I woke up and realized quickly that I had started bleeding again. At first I was frustrated. Then I was scared. Then I was calm. I went about my business trying not to worry. I went to church and took it easy. But as I sat in that sanctuary gym this morning, I experience a love like none other.

This love was all consuming. It took away all pain. It brought me to big heaping sobbing tears. Sitting at that table in the back, my hand held high, and tears pouring down my face, I experienced something I can't even explain.

The love of My Father. God spoke to me this morning. He breathed life into me. He calmed my fears and held me close. I literally felt His presence. His strong but gentle arms embracing me. Telling me to cry. Telling me to let it go. Telling me He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.

I can't put into words the emotions that went through my heart and soul this morning. God was there with me. He was literally holding me. He was giving me breath when I felt like I could no longer breathe. He was telling me "Daughter, I love you. You are mine. Trust in me. I love you. I love you."

Tonight I am struggling. I'm nauseous. I have a headache. The cramps are more severe than they have been. The blood is still flowing. I have no energy. I just want to cry and never stop. But, there are those arms. Those arms that are holding me up. Giving me strength when I want to give up. Breathing for me, when I don't feel like I can take another breath on my own. That love is consuming me. Calming my fears. That voice is whispering "I love you. I love you. I love you. Trust in me. You are ok. I've got you. I love you."

It's that love that is getting me through this. The love of a Father. A Father who cares more about me than anything in this world. A Father who knew the trials we would face before my mother even knew my name. A Father who has wrapped his arms around me and promised to never let go. A father who whispers "I love you." over and over and over.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful emotional lady you are, Sweetie. Thank you for sharing your experience with the world about being totally loved. You are in God's arms, resting and relaxed. God is sooooo Good, all the time. I'm lifting you up to our Lord. And loving you. Gramma

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