I've still been struggling with anxiety. A lot.
I have shared over and over, how much I HATE my anxiety and how out of control it makes me feel.
It has been like a black hole in my life. Something that sucks me in and I cannot, for the life of me, dig myself out. It's unpredictable and has ruled my life for too long.
I've been working hard in counseling and have been taking my medication as I need it, and it has been helping. I have noticed that I am beginning to be able to control the intensity of the attacks. I've been praying almost daily that God would deliver me from the anxiousness that has controlled my life since Joshua died. Although I still have a long way to go, I'm beginning to see improvement.
Over the past few days, I have had a few incidents that have brought me to the verge of an anxiety attack. I have felt myself going to the dark and scary place where my thoughts spin out of control.
But, the past few days have been good for me. I have been able to pinpoint the source of my anxiety and I have been able to work through it without the medication. I have been, literally, able to take control of the situations and once I do, the feeling is almost euphoric.
Like I said, I still have a long way to go. I still struggle almost daily with the anxiety of everyday issues. I still question where my intuition begins and the anxiety ends, but I feel like I'm making progress. God has been faithful and He has provided me with the right tools and the right people to help me conquer this.