A few posts ago, I wrote about how I wasn't sure what to do with this blog any more.
As I was writing that post, I was fairly sure that the end of this blog was in the very near future. I've been struggling with feeling safe here. I've been not wanting to share details of my life with my readers out of fear of what will be said or thought. I've also been feeling like I want to move forward with life, and this blog is a constant reminder of my pain, sorrow, and struggles from the past 3 years.
As I wrote that post, I was preparing to say good bye. But then, as I was typing the words, I felt convicted. I have shared so much of my pain and struggles here in this space. Would it be right to give it all up simply because I'm afraid?
Like I mentioned earlier, God has been moving in some mighty ways in our life. He has been opening doors that we never in a million years thought would be opened. He has been guiding our steps and making our paths clear, and I don't feel right not sharing. Especially when I keep it to myself because I'm afraid!
As I wrote that post, I felt a small voice saying that now is not the right time to quit. Right now is not the right time to move on. There is still work to be done here. I have been praying about it and asking God to make it extremely clear. Well, He has.
In plain and simple terms, you are going to get it all. I am going to continue on. I am not going to start a new blog. (at least not yet...)
I will be honest about something though. I am struggling with this decision. I live in fear. I am afraid of what others will say about the things that I write. Combine my fears with the fact that I just don't feel as "fierce and feisty" as I used to be, I'm still not fully convinced that this is the right place for me. BUT, I do feel like my job here is not quite finished yet. Because of that, I will continue on until I feel the Holy Spirit telling me that I'm done.
In the very near future, I'm going to be sharing with you a few of my newest adventures. I'm involved in an amazing new "ministry" of sorts. Our family is also going to be moving at the end of the summer. The story of our move and our new home is quite amazing- God has provided for our every need and basically plopped it into our laps without any effort on our part. I can't wait to share what He's been up to, how all of this is falling into place, and how incredibly faithful God has been to our family even though my words and actions have been so undeserving of His blessings over the past 2 years.
With all of that being said, I want to make one thing completely clear. I will NOT tolerate any sort of mean or hateful comments on this blog. For posts that are older, I have comment moderation turned on. I will NOT publish comments that are rude, hateful, or just trying to cause trouble. I also WILL NOT publish comments regarding circumcision (still a topic that I refuse to comment or debate about). I don't care if you think I am censoring just to have butterflies and rainbows shot up my butt. You can disagree with the things that I write, and as long as you are respectful and kind about it, your comments will be published and/or kept. If by chance a nasty or controversial comment gets through, I DO NOT want you to try to come to my defense or start fights. My intent with this blog is to have a safe place, free from drama and heated debate. I am a big girl and can push the beautiful delete button on any comment that I don't like or feel like it doesn't add to the general feel of my blog.
I know that sounds jerky of me, but if I'm going to continue to blog here, I just wanted to be completely clear that I do, in fact, delete comments. I just don't have the time, energy, and desire to fight, bicker, or debate.
Whew....now that that is out of the way, be looking out. I will be sharing some exciting things in the next few days/weeks! Although I'm nervous about it, I'm also excited to continue sharing our story with all of you!