Friday, January 13, 2012

255


Can you guess what that number is?

It's a number that makes me cringe every time I see it.

It's a number that represents a few years of being completely out of control.

It's a number that only I can do something about.

It's a number that I need to make smaller- for me, for my children, for my husband.

I'm sure you can guess what that number is.

I'm putting it all out there in an effort to keep me accountable. (and hopefully inspire a few of you to join me in becoming less.)

Yup. You got it.

255 pounds.

GASP!!!!!!!! I just publicly put my weight on my blog. YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Deep breath.

That number is going to be lessening. It HAS to become smaller.

This is not a New Years resolution for me. This is not something that is going to fade away in the next month.

I'm ready to fight that awful number. I'm ready to become healthy again.

For me. For my children. For my husband. But mostly for me.

This past Tuesday night I started Weight Watchers.

I participated in the Weight Watchers program 2 years ago, before I got pregnant with Joshua. I had a huge success and lost almost 50 pounds!

I remember how I felt when I lost that weight.

I felt confident.

I felt energized.

I felt healthy.

But not now.

I am embarrassed to be in my own skin.

I don't like being out of breath or struggling to get off the floor when I play with my kids.

Honestly, I'm embarrassed about the number of points that I am allowed to eat every day- they are based on my height and weight.

But no more.

I'm going to change this. That number is going to start dropping.

I'm going to find the confident Jill again- the Jill that loves herself just as God made her.

This is not about achieving a certain weight. Ideally, I would love to lose between 80-100 pounds. But as long as I'm feeling healthy and confident, I really don't care what size I am.

I'm doing this for me. I constantly give, give, give. Everything I do, I do for my children and my husband. I do nothing for myself. This is for me. As selfish as this may be, I need to do this for ME!

I'm 255. Hopefully next week, I will be a little less. Good bye 255!!!




14 comments:

The Price Family! said...

I have started weight watchers as well this year. I love it because I feel like I can eat what I want too. I have found some really good receipes on pintrest for weight watchers. Good luck and know Im right there with you trying too loose weight. :)

McEngland like the McCountry said...

I am so incredibly proud of you for making a plan and finding the motivation. The increased mobility is a great incentive! If I were closer we could go walk and motivate each other!

stardustdawn said...

Yep, you can do this! I know you can! Each day gets a little bit easier as you feel better and better. You go girl!

Kelli B said...

You go girl!! This website has a handy little ticker if you want it. I put it on my blog (back when I was blogging). :-)

http://www.widdlytinks.com/phototinks/index.php?pageno=2

ladyturtle2 said...

You go girl! You CAN do it! You are amazingly strong. 255 has nothing over you!

Nikki said...

WAHOO!!! You're amazing!

Robin said...

rooting you on...you can do it!!! :)

Stefenie said...

Will be encouraging you along the way Jill!! You can do this friend, I know you can! Praying!

Amanda said...

Way to go! You can do it!

Auntie Mip said...

Dear one,

I support yur effortts to be healthy. I admire what yu are doing. Please be kind to yourself. There is so much pain iin your heart right now. Be gentle and forgiving. Losing weight under the best of circumstances is an arduous and emotional battle. Losing weight under a mountain of stress is extra challenging. No matter how much you weigh, know that yu are who yu are meant to be. Maybe this will convey my thoughts better...

May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in
yourself and others.
May you use the gifts you have received, and pass on the love that has
been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom
to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.


Mother Teresa

JEN said...

thoughts and prayers for you on this new journey-in sept 2009, i put my weight on my blog. i was 285lbs. i too had a loss-our 2nd child stillborn @ 41w in 2007 and my weight was always bad (low 200s) but after that spiraled out of control until i hit rock bottom at almost 300lbs after we had our 3rd child.

since then, i have lost 140lbs, and my husband has lost over 100lbs. we have completely changed who we are, and our lifestyles, and it was crazy and hard and the most wild journey ever, but God has been so faithful and had so much more than we imagined for our obedience in walking in health and wellness acording to His will-including being on the Today Show last year, and in Woman's Day magazine, etc-who would have thought!!

Here is my story, if you ever want to read it and see my before and after pics-I wrote a blog for the company I work for now, and then here is my website too. Anyway I can support you, as a fellow loss mama, Christian and formerly heavy mama, I am here for you! You can and will do this, you said it yourself, you've done it before!!!

http://www.hoopnotica.com/about/hoopenings-blog/item/the-decision-that-forever-changed-my-life.html?category_id=21#comments

http://www.hoopnotica.com/about/hoopenings-blog/item/jen-moore-3.html?category_id=21#comments

www.roccityhoopdance

JEN

ladyturtle2 said...

I wish I could "like" the above comment.

Auntie M said...

Proud of you! You can do it!!! With all you've been through the past couple years, taking care of yourself, eating healthy and exercizing were probably not even on your list of important things to take care of!
Little hint: up your vitamin B-12, B-1, and Vitamin D intakes.
And don't rush: these things take time. Rejoice in every smidgeon lost!
You can do it! :-)
XO!!!

Auntie M said...

Proud of you! You can do it!!! With all you've been through the past couple years, taking care of yourself, eating healthy and exercizing were probably not even on your list of important things to take care of!
Little hint: up your vitamin B-12, B-1, and Vitamin D intakes.
And don't rush: these things take time. Rejoice in every smidgeon lost!
You can do it! :-)
XO!!!

 
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