Thursday, October 6, 2011

You Left and Took My Heart

I don't even know how to start this post. 

The pain is too great. 

The sadness too overwhelming.

This was the day that you left.

This was the day that you took a part of my heart with you.

A part of me that I will never get back.



This was the day that my world fell apart-
the walls of my safety and security came crashing down all around me.

This was the day that I knew life would never be the same.

I was with you as you took your last breath- my first ever experience with death.



I ushered you into the arms of Jesus. 



Shocked. 

Devestated. 

Broken.

Alone.

My love was not enough to save you. 



So I had to let you go. 

I had no choice.

My heart hurts yet rejoices because of the knowledge I have of where you are. 

Yet, here we are. 



A year later. 

Still picking up the pieces of our broken and shattered lives. 

Trying to live without you. 

Learning how deep my love for you really ran, how unending the pain will always be. 






20 comments:

Jessica said...

beautiful post. praying for you today, Jill.

Jana said...

Oh. Tears and prayers for you and your family.

Krista Phillips said...

Jill, I have no good words today. Just know that I am praying for you and your family, and remembering sweet Joshua today.

The Price Family! said...

Praying for ya'll today. May God's Grace fall on ya'll today as you go through this difficult day!

lisa said...

My heart aches for you! Praying for you as you continue on this difficult journey!

Lis said...

Hurting for you! Praying

Lindsay said...

Thinking of you today

Beth said...

We love, admire, and respect how you fiercely love Joshua. I look forward to meeting him in heaven some day. He would be proud of you!

camilla said...

Praying for you, though I don't know you. I am touched deeply.

noah and alyssa said...

Sometimes there are no words, just tears. Keeping you all in my thoughts today.

Stefenie said...

{{{HUG}}} Thinking of you today and keeping you all in my prayers!

Bumper said...

Reading your experience has really resonated with me. At times I have felt I would go mad with all the conflicting feelings I had/have towards God. Unlike you I have not yet got to the place where I can once again say and mean 'God is Good'. That may come in time, but for now it is all I can do to still believe God 'IS'.

Julie said...

Praying for you today.

Christine said...

*HUG* Thinking of you and of Joshua

Heather said...

Hugs Jill, thinking of you and your sweet family today.

Jess said...

Hugs and remembering Joshua today. I came to know about Joshua through Ewan, they have both touched my heart and my life. Praying for you and your family on this day!

Amy said...

Thinking of your family today.

Peach said...

Praying. <3

Ausmerican Housewife said...

<3 Is he holding a toy in the 2nd photo? That one is my favorite of all these in this post Jill. <3 <3 <3 it.

Lots of hugs from Australia.

Auntie M said...

Oh honey...sending you such love!

 
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