I really am not complaining about this pregnancy. I promise. (well, I kinda am, but not because of a lack of appreciation for what I have....we all need to complain every once in a while right?!)
I would take a pregnancy like this over a pregnancy like we had with Joshua any day- one where we continuously waited for him to die inside me and then received a devastating diagnosis.
This pregnancy has been a breeze compared to the last one, and I know how truly blessed I am.
However, I'm reaching the point of losing any tiny amount of patience I have left.
I've been in constant pain for almost 2 months now with my hips and lower back. I've had to slow down significantly and my body has restricted me from being able to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather of the fall. (it's no one's fault but my own for being so out of shape, but it is what it is.)
Most recently, I've lost any tiny amount of coordination that I had left.
Last night I tripped over some toys that were laying on the kitchen floor. I can no longer lift my feet when I walk due to the pain in my hips and lower belly. I tried to (stupidly) step over one of Hannah's baby's high chairs and my foot didn't quite make it over.
I went sailing through the air, trying to catch myself in the process. I landed on my right knee and my legs were in the most unnatural position I have ever been in. (what's even worse is that this all happened in front of Shane and the kids....)
Shane helped me up as best as he could, but by that point I was to the point of tears and extreme frustration.
Last night was horrible pain wise. On top of the regular pregnancy pain, I am now dealing with extreme pain from the fall. My toe that caught on the high chair is pounding, my knee is bruised, and my hips are grinding worse than ever before. I literally cannot stand up straight because the pain in my hips is too intense.
I called the doctor, and there isn't much they can do as long as baby is still moving and I'm not bleeding or anything. I figured that would be what they would say, but better safe than sorry.
I'm 37 weeks. I have 3 more weeks of this. I'm just not sure how I am going to mentally and physically get through it. For as silly as it sounds, I'm asking God for the grace it takes to get through the day. I'm asking for strength and healing and most importantly patience.
I don't want to rush Luke out, I want him to come when he is good and ready, but I'm really REALLY tired. Tired of the pain, tired of not being able to move, and tired of the sacrifices that my body is demanding of me.
I'm ready little one. Let's get this show on the road.