Feed The Cleave

There is no way to tiptoe around the title of this post.

Someone posted this on Facebook last week, and I just about died.

Being a " well endowed" woman, I found this to be a little too true.

Taken from Pinterest.

Seriously, I cannot eat without sharing my food with the over the shoulder boulders. (The worst offender is popcorn....)

And when I'm getting ready to head to bed, I always find leftovers just waiting for me.

Gross right?

Well, here's a funny little story for ya!

In an effort to control every aspect of my children's lives maintain some sort of innocence for Caleb since going to school, Shane and I have chosen to drop him off and pick him up from school, rather than let him take the bus! (Seriously, who wants to answer questions about where babies come from, what certain body parts are used for, and why adults have hair in places children do not! I'm not ready for that stuff yet!!!)

When I pick Caleb up from school, I have to go into the front lobby of the school to wait for him. Hannah and I usually get there a few minutes early in an effort to find a bench to wait on.

This past Friday, as we were waiting for Caleb, the lobby was full of waiting parents.

All of a sudden, I felt something crawling on my lower neck. I quickly swiped at it, thinking it was a loose hair or something, but when I looked down, I realized that it was a small spider.

Trying not to panic, I nonchalantly continued to wipe at my chest, trying to get the spider off of me without drawing too much attention to myself.

Next thing I know, the spider had crawled down the shirt into the endless pit of cleavage.

Now, what's a girl to do?!

The bell had just rung, I HAD TO wait there for Caleb. There was a lobby full of people, I couldn't possibly go digging to try and get it out!

So, I sat there, for what seemed like an eternity. With every passing second, I began sweating and almost twitching. The spider was in there and I could feel it moving around in there!

ACK!!!!!!!!

Have you ever had a spider in your shirt?! Every time it moved, it sent chills down my spine.

Finally, I found Caleb and could not get him out the door fast enough.

We literally ran across the parking lot, as I tried not to scream, and jumped into the van.

I'm praying no one saw me digging in my chest once I got into my car.

I would take leftover popcorn or rice falling out of there any day!

ACK!!!