Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I Don't Get Out Enough...

I love my darling daughter with my whole heart. I promise I do.

But somebody should really teach her what is appropriate to say to someone and what is not. I mean seriously...I have *no* clue where she learns to speak so boldly....*insert clearing my throat and sideways glances*

For example:

We were laying in bed one morning (she usually climbs into our bed every morning for some early morning snuggles). She was poking at my belly and saying something. I was half asleep, and she popped her face right into mine and said "MOM! I said you have stripes on your tummy. Just like a tiger."

I rolled over, and told her those "tiger stripes" where all HER fault! She just shook her head and started "rawr-ing" at me.

See what I mean about someone teaching her some tact?!

This one is even better.

About a week ago, I was getting dressed to go out for the evening with a friend of mine. Hannah likes to sit in the bathroom with me while I put on my make up, dry and fix my hair, and get dressed. Without fail, we play the "I blow you with the blow dryer while you run and scream and giggle" game.

Well, after a few rounds of me blow drying her away from me, it was time for me to head to my room to get dressed. She followed me into the room and climbed up onto my bed. I picked out my shirt for the evening from the closet, and grabbed my jeans out of my dresser drawer (which were freshly washed and dried- so I knew some stretching them out was going to need to take place). I put on my shirt, and then put on the jeans (which were terrifyingly tight from the day's washing.)

That is when she looked at me with those big silly eyes and said "Mama! You can't wear daddy's pants!" I looked down and realized that she very RARELY sees me in jeans. When I'm home during the day, I'm always in yoga pants. I explained to her that mommy has jeans too, not just daddy (he wears them every day to work).

She continued to tell me they were daddy's pants and that I wasn't allowed to wear them. I think at one point, she even threatened to "tell daddy on you." (seriously...somebody teach this kid who is boss! haha!)

After a few minutes of arguing with her, as I was trying to walk around in them, I thought to myself "I wonder if these really are daddy's pants?!" He's a waist size 32- I'm definitely not- so the tightness of them would make sense. I think I was kind of hoping that they were his. So, of course I had to check to see if they were. I was twisting and turning and squirming to see if they were in fact my jeans. After finally taking them off, I found out that they were in fact mine. Hannah just sat there the entire time saying "What are you doing in daddy's pants?! Why are you moving like that?!"

I guess that proves that I need to get out more often. (Or that someone really should teach my kid some manners! ha!)


Jill said...

Hate to break it to you, but you got a Tilley girl on your hands. She is SO much like Tilley when she was little.

Till would, I kid you not, BITE her lip to keep from smiling when people talked to her. If she didn't like what I was wearing, I knew it.

Soooooooooooooo, reflect back to New Year's Eve weekend and see what you have to look forward to in about twelve years.

Love you. Wish you were here.

Kissed by the Creator said...

Okay so I spilled my coffee laughing while reading this. Hilarious! I have my own little Rachel Redhead and she sounds just like your Hannah. OMG, the things they say. The other day my RED (age 10) said their was some dirty words in the bible. I said what? So she said, some guy wrote a poem about boobies. I immediately flew in my mind to song of solomon. She said, I found it during class today. (she goes to a christian school) then she said, "Her breasts are like doves" and she starts parading around the kitchen in her socks holding what would be her boobies, if she had any. So I said, Rachel, did you share your knowledge with anyone? Her freckle face krikled up and she said sure! So...leave it to my child to indoctrinate 4th grade on the wonders of the song of solomon.

maryjo said...

My redhead commented, "Mom, no offense, but you look like a donkey (haha) when you eat." (btw, I have braces and probably do look like a donkey when eating:)

Beth W. said...

Kissed by the Creator, that in itself it too funny!! Since we're sharing stories, just wait till Hannah walks past a larger person in a store and says "mom, that lady is fat" out loud!! Oh yes, Abbie did! I apologized to the lady and then had a talk with Abbie about keeping our comments to ourselves and NOT saying them out loud in a different aisle.

Amy said...

Oh man, those responses are as funny as your Hannah stories LOL!!! Kids are hilarious!

My funny Sean story: we were at the store one day and there was a masculine woman in front of us at the checkout. Sean kept calling her a "him" or a "he." I kept correcting him and finally he said, "No Mommy, that's a boy!" Ugh.

Tiffany said...

To funny!!!! You're not alone with the yoga pants...I wear them almost everyday, too. So comfortable!

Peach said...

Ah, kids. My sister (youngest) is the worst at watching what she says. She's nine and has the worst filter ever. But she's more rude than funny.

I couldn't go a day around her without hearing how fat I was while I was pregnant. Once she even called me a cow. I blame my mom for not trying to teach her better manners (she's the current favorite).

Mellow said...

Nothing like a little one to brighten up life a little bit! What a wonderful little gift she is. :)

Stephanie said...

I always have to do the bend, squat, bounce routine when putting on my just washed jeans ;)

Anonymous said...

My 5 yo LO periodically will say "Are you SURE you don't have a baby in your tummy? You DO have a big tummy! You could have a few baby's in there!" (I think that is a bit of an exaggeration.... I hope so anyway...) :o/

Jessica said...

kids say the most interesting things. and they pay attention even when we think they aren't paying attention.

Wayne and Sue Rasmussen said...

She is just the cutest thing!!!

The Porn Widow said...

We are currently trying to teach Ruth the difference between big and small. She loves counting so we'll count and then describe what we're counting..

"1...2...3... Three small blueberries"

Her favorite way to address me now is
"One! One BIIIIIIIIG Mama!"


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