Wednesday, January 19, 2011


I'm empty....

I miss him. 


Jill said...

I don't know quite what to say....but I will say you are not alone tonight. we would all hold your hand if we could :)

Lauren said...

Lots of hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

That hat is toooo stinking cute!!!
Stay strong and keep moving forward.

Kristie said...

I miss him too.

Liberty said...

{hugs} My dear friend lost her son after one week to polycystic kidney disease... It has been the most difficult thing to walk with her through this.

The Mama said...

"All I could see was the fog... I think if I could have seen the shore, I would have made it" -Florence Chadwick

Your shore is coming. It may not be tomorrow, or next month, or next year; but it is on your horizon.

Heather and Adam said...

Big hugs Jill! Ill be praying for you tonight and for always!

Jodie ( said...

My heart is truly aching for you, knowing you are out there carrying this pain. Know there are blogging strangers thinking of you tonight and praying for your days to move forward. xo

Anonymous said...

I first read your blog on Aug. 8th 2010. I was on the Elladawn blog spot and in the comments you had sent a message. Your title of "Fierce and Fiesty" caught my attention as well as the unique picture of your beautiful red hair. I began reading your blog on 8/8/10 the week prior to Joshua's birth and have been reading it ever since. He is such a handome little man and his life has touched many. Prayers here in Oklahoma have been and continue to be lifted to the Heavens on you and your families behalf. I want to tell you I appreciate your raw honesty about this journey that you are on. I too have been angry at God and the revalation you shared saying being mad at God means we do truly believe in him. (you said it better).
You will never know how your blog has helped me in my work. You see, I am an Neonatal Nurse Practitioner in Oklahoma City. I work every day with mom's and families whose infants are very ill and many do not survive. Your words of truth and honesty and the description of your grief process has helped me have an insight I did not have before and hopefully I can use this when I am with the Mom/family. I became attached to this one little Momma in Dec. 2010. Her infant died on 12/26.Today on facebook she expressed her grief with some of the same words I have read in your blog ie "It hurts to breath,my heart aches, I want my little man back" I found a poem today and sent it to her. I just felt convited to send it to you.
God bless you and your family Jill and please remember Joshua's life is so powerful.

Carla Hetherington

We are connected, My child and I, by
An invisible cord, Not seen by the eye.

It's not like the cord, That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't been seen, By any one on Earth.

This cord does it's work,Right from the start.
It binds us together, Attached to my heart.

I know that it's there, Though no one can see
The invisible cord, From my child to me.

The strength of this cord, Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed, It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord, Man could create
It withstands the test, Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there, But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart, I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline, As never before.

I am thankful that God, Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take it away!

Author Unknown .

CHD Fighter said...

Praying for you Jill ... tears <3

Mellow said...

Praying for you. I had a night just like yours, last night. My arms felt so empty and longed for my little one. Lord, I pray you give us both rest...but I pray especially for Jill that you would help her heart to feel the mending taking place, and restore her hope. God we know without you, there is no hope, be her strength and her guide when the darkness sets in, and help her to see the sun shining in the morning.


God bless you, Jill.

Jill said...

I know you do. *hugs* So glad he and his soul mate are together, though. Does that make us in-laws?

I love you. My kids miss you guys. Tennessee would be a better place if the Haskins fam resided here. :)

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