He's gone. God is Here.

In the car when the kids are entertaining each other- making each other laugh, singing goofy songs, saying funny things- he’s gone. But I am here.

In the morning, afternoon, and evening when I’m making food. Preparing our meals- he’s gone. But I am here.

In the sleepy snuggles moments after a good nights rest- he's gone. But I am here.
At night when the kids are in the bath- he’s gone. But I am here.

In the middle of the night, in the midst of a dream that awakens me- he’s gone. But I am here.

During the calm moments when Hannah is napping and Caleb is playing- he’s gone. But I am here.

When I kiss boo-boos, wipe noses, clean bottoms, pick up socks, do endless loads of laundry, multiple loads of dishes, picking up ridiculous amounts of toys- he’s gone. But I am here.


The small moments in each day are reminders of what we are missing. The daily routines scream at me- reminding me of what has been taken from me. The insignificant details of the day serve as a constant reminder of all of the should have beens. I am constantly reminded that he is gone. But in that same moment I know that He is here.

Thank God for the Hope that he brings by never leaving, never forsaking, constantly forgiving. Joshua is gone- but God is here.