Monday, December 27, 2010

Dear Joshua,

Your first Christmas has come and gone. I can only imagine how wonderful yours must have been.

I found myself thinking of you a lot this weekend. I wondered how wonderful it would be to be up in Heaven celebrating Jesus' birthday IN the presence of Jesus Himself! I bet there were streamers, birthday cake, and the best praise and worship of all time! I can only imagine you taking it all in with those big beautiful eyes of yours.

Joshua, even though there weren't any presents under the tree for you, know that you have not been forgotten. I was actually able to look at your pictures for quite a while this weekend. That is the first time I have been able to do that since you left. I found myself reaching out to touch your cheeks, your hair, and your fingers, but was slapped with reality when the cold screen was all that I felt.

Your brother and sister had a good Christmas. They got some great gifts. They are happy and doing well. They miss you. A LOT. Caleb spends a lot of time in the corner of the dining room talking to your picture. Telling you all about the things that he's doing or thinking. He misses you more than any of us know.

Hannah knows that you are in Heaven and she says that you are happy. How her 2 year old little mind knows that, I'm not sure, but I'm trusting that God has revealed that information to her in a way that she can understand.

Your daddy now has an amazing necklace around his neck with your name on it. When he opened it as his Christmas gift, he cried. He misses you more than anything, sweet baby. He loves you so, so much. We both do.

We miss you, sweet one. I would do anything to have you back here in my arms. We've had a rough year, but Joshua, I think we are going to be ok. God is providing for our every need, and we are doing alright. Just keep growing and learning and one day we will be together. 

I love you precious boy.

Love,

Mama

6 comments:

Stephanie, Daughter of the Risen King said...

Love ya!

The Sears Family said...

Beautiful. Christmas's in heaven must be amazing. Love ya!

sidsmom2mickey said...

I can only imagine what Christmas in heaven must be like. One day we will be up there as a family again, celebrating with our lovely boys, at the foot of Christ. Dancing with the angels and millions of others in Heaven.
I can only imagine what it will be like to be free from our grief, free from our sorrow, and free from the narrowness of our earthly bounds.

your sis in Christ,
Peggy

The Animated Woman. said...

Beautiful...

Kari said...

continually lifting up your family in prayer.

Kari, Joel's mommy.

RainbowW said...

one of my relations lost a child before her first christmas. she doesn't get tree presents, but they do put up a little stocking for her, with her name and everything, and the things in it go to a children's charity or a church nursery or hospital or something.

something to think about if, in time, it feels right for your family.

 
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