Monday, November 1, 2010

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
(Psalm 139:16)

Joshua's life was 51 days.
He lived all the days that were ordained for him
according to God's plan.

He never had a future here on Earth.

His future is and always was in Heaven.

God is full of Mercy and Might!

Praise God Almighty!

Thank you,
Cheryl for your kind
and encouraging words.


Anonymous said...

he could still be here if you never made that decision.

Lauren said...

Lots of hugs to you Jill, you have such great strength. Bless you and your family,sweet Joshua is watching over us all. ♥

Carolina Carters said...


Always praying for you Jill!

Anonymous said...

Such a precious baby!!! You are in my prayers and I admire your love as a mother and the strength you have in God!!!

Jennifer Hood said...

Love the peace and truth in this post. Beautiful.

Still praying for you and your family!

Michael Bowman-King said...

♥ Beautiful......You and sweet sweet Joshua! ♥

Robin said...

love the peace in the words and the photos. Thanks for sharing.

kmcaffee said...

So sorry for your loss. He is a beautiful, precious baby. I just saw you over on Mompetition and I am disgusted that there are other people doing this to you. I am sorry that all of this has happened, please know that there really are people out there praying for you and your family and I commend you for sharing your story. You are so brave....

Layne said...

Just heard your interview on Mompetition and just want to say to the haters "ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS? DO YOU PEOPLE NOT KNOW HOW SCIENCE WORKS? The baby had a heart problem, that is why he died, NOT because he was circumcised!"

Red Head, my heart and thoughts go out to you. I believe in karma, so the haters will get what's coming their way.

Anonymous said...

Psalm 3:1-8 (King James Version)

1 Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me.

2 Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. Selah.

3 But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.

4 I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.

5 I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD sustained me.

6 I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me round about.

7 Arise, O LORD; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly.

8 Salvation belongeth unto the LORD: thy blessing is upon thy people. Selah.

As I read this passage it made me think of you. I am so glad that you had 51 days with your beautiful Joshua. No one can take that from you.
Stay strong - sisters in Christ,

Beth W. said...

Continuing to pray for you and your family, Jill. May "the peace of God [continue to] guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." And, may He be gracious to you and shut the mouth of the accuser of the saints. (Satan)
"There is now, therefore, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1a

Danielle said...

You have been so gracious and such a great example of God's grace throughout all this. I would have never been able to carry myself with the love and grace you have in the face of such evil. Keep your head up. You HAVE a beautiful little boy and he is enjoying the most beautiful home right now, right in the arms of the angels. Whether you feel it or not you are doing good and spreading the word of Jesus through your grace, actions and lack of condemnation for those who are mistreating you. Keep your head high. For Joshua.

"Oh Mother, My Mother"

Oh Mother, my mother,
I touch your tears, with invisible fingers soothing your skin.
I know you think of me so often
In the day, in the night, in your dreams…
Going into an empty nursery knowing I'll never be there,
But I am...
In your heart, in your soul.
I shall always be…
For you gave so unselfishly of yourself.

Inside of you, you created such a world for me…
A world of laughter, of love, of sadness, of sorrow,
Every emotion people come to know, you shared with me.
And even though I may never feel your arms around me,
I felt your heart beating,
Like a lullaby, singing me to sleep,
And your spirit, giving me a safe haven,
Already protecting me, nurturing me,
Preparing me for things to come.

But sometimes the journey of life pulls souls apart.
Yes, I had to go on to another place.
I wish I could stay,
I wish this was a decision I could make
And I know you do too.
Know this wherever you are,
I will always remember
That yours was the first love, the first joy,
The first soul I will ever know.
You gave me the courage to go on in my journey.
I hope I can do the same for you.
Your heartbeat will always call me to you

Deb said...

I came over from Mompetition to say that I am so, so sorry for your loss. I am disgusted that any other human being could be mean and hateful to you and your family during this time of grief.

Anonymous said...

Dropping by from Mompetition. I am terribly saddened by your loss and angered at your treatment by the anti-circumcision zealots! I will remember you and your family in my prayers.

Nikki said...

I know several parents who said goodbye to their child after minutes. Days. Weeks. You were incredibly blessed to have Joshua for those 51 days. It was cruel for him to be taken so soon but look at all the good he did in just 51 days. More than most (anonymous) people do in a LIFETIME!!!

I can personally say he changed me. I bet there are hundreds more out there who feel the same way. He lost his battle with CHD but that just made more people aware of the problem and hopefully we can find ways to beat it!

Anonymous said...

do u honestly think the dr is going to say the circumcision killed him and risk a lawsuit? common sense says no..common sense also says it is what killed also proves that the one who made the decision to cut off foreskin is a murderer. lets be realistic people. its not karma when its the truth. karma is when God takes your baby because you made a damn decision to decide his penis was more important than his heart.

Little Miss Emmy Lou said...

To those who are writing nasty comments, I am going to (try to) respect Jill's wishes to not add fuel to the fire. I am going to respond out of love. But let me just ask you this question: What are you gaining from continuing to harrass Jill, and write negative comments? How is that helping your cause? What happened, happened. How is trying to shame a mother in the middle of her grief helping get your point of view out there? If anything, it makes people NOT respect your "intactivist" view, and it makes people NOT want to listen to what you have to say. Think about why you are being hateful. Because your hate is NOT furthering your cause. At. All.

Michael Bowman-King said...

I wish I could be around when karma makes its way to you "Anonymous"!

Tracy said...

Well said Emmy Lou. Well said. Had I said would have contained some f bombs and threats bodily harm should I ever come across "anonymous" . Some people are just to ignorant to be allowed to open their mouths. Or...use a keyboard.

Michelle said...

reminds me of something Angie Smith (Audrey Caroline's mommy) said in a video online. it's about "Plan B" and she was saying how although things that happen may be OUR "plan B," they are NEVER GOD'S "plan B." Audrey's life was never going to be more than 2.5 hours, as Angie said in the video... there was never a time when her life went beyond that, even though in Angie & Todd's mind it did. God knew every breath Audrey would - and would NOT - take. just as He knew about Joshua's life. certainly our desire was for him to live a long life here on earth; his Homegoing was our "plan B." but it was never that way for God, because He knew every breath sweet Joshua would take, and which breath would be his last here in this world.

a hard concept to grasp, yet strangely reassuring in some ways while devastating in others.

if you haven't already, you should check out the video i'm referring to - it's in three parts on YouTube.

Stephanie said...

I love you, Jill. Just plain and simple.

Steena said...

>>>[karma is when God takes your baby because you made a damn decision to decide his penis was more important than his heart.]<<<
Dear Anonymous,
Karma is a buddhist and hindu belief, in contrast to FAITH that we have as Christians through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I will pray for you, to comprehend what Jill has gone through and still goes through every day. I pray to God that you don't have children who will suffer through the broken heart and healing that Joshua, Jill and the rest of her family have had to go through. I think few of us would be strong enough to withstand it, especuially with the grace that Jill has. Anonymous... I will pray that your heart is healed from the hatefulness that lives inside that urges you to lash out against those you don't know for a cause that is not yours. And I will pray that your eyes and your soul is opened to the forgiveness and love that is found through acceptance of Jesus Christ in your heart.

Blessings to you everyday Haskins Family!

Anonymous said...

what may be interesting to know about the anonymous person, is I am not christian, i am a jew. i do not, and will not have children. I am a social worker for children with terminal illness so my soul is very open to the pain family feels when they do not cause the death of their own child. I see death daily. I see the pain of a family as their child receives chemo, breathing treatments, and the last rites. what i do not see is them deciding to get circumcision. i am not an intactivist. i am a social worker who is unbelievably disgusted by jill and her family, and basically all of you continue to tell her that the chd is what killed joshua when you all know in your hearts that the circumcision did. now if you cannot open your hearts and see that, then i will pray for you, that god will open your eyes to the truth. and maybe then jesus will be your savior to the truth as he has been deceiving you all along if you believe this falseness that chd killed this innocent child and not his parent. this is who anonymous is. there is no need to pray for me, please pray for the innocent children that are dying daily of the cancers, aids, cystic fibrosis, and chd that they had no control in getting. I am old enough and pray enough for myself. thank you.
Dawn Birch.

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

Dawn- I'm sorry you are so disgusted with me. I wish we could see past our differences and find common ground. But since that doesn't seem like a possibility, know that I still love you even though you hate me. I would however apprecaite if you would stop leaving comments. We all know how much you hate me and how much you blame me for Joshua's death. Can you please leave it alone now?

In Christ,


Anonymous said...

Who knew that one broken little heart would expose so many broken people.

Thinking of you every day. Praying for peace.

Anonymous said...

Jill, I said it before and still believe it. The horrible, rude, undeserved, inappropriate and hateful comments do nothing but show me that Satan walks amongst us. You hold your head up high and stand in the light of the truth. Josh is no doubt proud of how you are demonstrating your faith and love in Christ.

As a mother of a heart healthy son (who is circ'd) and a daughter who has a chd, I stand beside you in love and truth in knowing you made the best decisions for your son that YOU and your husband alone had the right to make.

Shannon Egan

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

Shannon- Thank you so much. you have always been such a good support for me. You always have the right words and the most loving heart. Thank you for supporting us and standing beside us. I appreciate it! Much love to you my dear. :o)

Anonymous said...

I am disheartened to read the heartless comments written here. I too will choose the high road and simply pray for the "anonymous" folks who, by hearing the words they only want to hear, have passed judgment. All I can say is I would not want to be in your shoes when your judgment before God comes.
We do as we feel is best as parents. I have read post after post where I have not been inclined that Jill or her beloved profess to be perfect parents. We face life decisions all the time with our children. We pray, we seek counsel from learned sources and we make decisions. Right or wrong (I have made quite a few wrong, yet have the two most amazing human beings occupying my life with me) we do it out of love. Can all you out there who pass the hatred forth, say the same thing? Do you walk on this mortal plane and do all your servitude with love?

Jill, I am so very proud of the voice that you are giving to a mother and father's love for their child. I am proud of the missionary work you are doing by sharing your journey. I am proud that you have the courage to share.

Douglas' Mom

Mellow said...

Jill, May God continue to lift you and make you strong as you endure the terrible loss of your son. My heart hurts with yours as you grieve...over time the hurt won't sting as much, but, it will always be a part of you and your family. It is a new normal that all we can do with, is give the hurt to God and ask that He guide our every step. You are brave and strong, and the love you show as you are under fire is going to change hearts and lives. As a mother that has lost a son recently,I understand your deep pain. Know that I am praying as you walk through this grief that is so unpredictable, and ever changing... You are a beautiful example of Christs love. Even when it hurts. Sending you love and prayers.

The Sears Family said...

Wow this Dawn person is SO broken. I am praying for her, just as I am praying for you. I know she doesn't "want" to be prayed for but I feel Satan all around her. What you have done and are doing for our Family can not be measured, and I know that God put you in my life for a reason. Love you.
Dana Sears

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your lose. You are such a strong person and I pray for your family daily. I am sorry that this Dawn gal is so bitter and unhappy, I will pray for her families as well(she is a social worker). With that much hatred and non knowledge in the medical field she will need it.


Anonymous said...

I hope that it is not true that this Dawn is a social worker. It hurts my heart to think she can be so viciously mean and works with children and families through their darkest times.

gretchen said...

Just coming over from Mompetition as well where I was horrified that you are being treated this way! I dont think circumcision is necessary and didnt with my son but it was a decision that I had to make as you did. We all have our reasons for the way we parent our children and no two people are going to agree on every single issue. But in no way do I believe that your child deserved to die or anyone's child for that matter! We should be here supporting each other through the tough times and rejoicing with each other in the good times. Motherhood is hard enough without attacking each other! I am so so sorry for your loss and seriously embarrassed for the zealots that are using you and your poor family to justify the advancement of their cause. It is absolutely NOT right. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this.

Lisa said...

Amen to your post, Jill. Peace, from our family to yours.

Little Miss Emmy Lou said...

Dawn and others who agree with Dawn - Even if you think that the circ (and not the CHD) is what killed Joshua, there is a difference between murder and manslaughter/negligence. Even if you believe that the circ is what killed Joshua (which I firmly do NOT believe), you have to acknowledge that it was not INTENTIONAL, therefore, not murder. Stop using that term incorrectly.

Anonymous said...

Dawn, you don't happen to be in the Kansas City, area do you? It would be a shame if you were representing your organization with such hate and disrespect. You should know that I am also a social worker, and we are trained to not be judgmental and impose our beliefs on others. Maybe you need a refresher course.

Anonymous said...

No one knows what events eventually ended Joshua's life on earth. As you said, Jill, Joshua lived the exact number of days that were ordained for him. No one can presume, just by reading your blog, that they know the cause of Joshua's death.

Cling tightly to the Lord! I have no words to help your pain. Sometimes you don't need words when you're grieving. Sometimes you just need to hear someone else say, "this sucks." But you have been so courageous, so inspiring, and yes, even fierce and fiesty through all of this.

Poor Dawn...I am so sorry for the deep pain that she carries for whatever reason. I'll be praying for her, even though she thinks she doesn't need our prayers.

And of course, still praying for the Haskins family.

Anonymous said...

I noticed that more than one of your attackers have stated that they don't have children. But most of your supporters do have children, and know what it is like to have to make decisions for them.

Hang in there...

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Annie said...

Wow I couldn't believe the first comment written. I can't believe how many people take the time out of their day to belittle and find faults in others! Wow!
Jill this is a beautiful post, I had a girlfriend that lost twin daughters visit me today, she had her babies at 26 weeks of age. I shared the words above with her.
thank you
Annie Eburg

StrongRedheadedCherokeeMama said...

Jill, I told you she didn't have children!! Just know that the MOTHERS of the world stand by you united at your side, regardless of our personal and cultural beliefs. Regardless even of whether we think the circ may have added to the problem... MOTHERS everywhere know what it's like to be judged for decisions we are forced to make for our kids (vaccines, preschool, junk food, diapers, EVERYTHING) and we all know that a baby's mother ALWAYS knows best. I took some Improv classes at Second City and sometimes when we were doing an exercise and someone would blurt out something that made NO sense... the kids would laugh and the person would usually say "oops that wasn't supposed to happen"... well our instructor responded each time with a resounding, "YES!! it WAS supposed to happen because that's what DID happen" he always taught us that in improv, as in life, your expectations will almost always differ from what is meant to be.... and anyone who's ever done or seen improv knows that it's true... you ALWAYS get the biggest reward (laughs) out of an unexpected response. <3 <3 Sending amuch love your way, my sister in motherhood <3

Avery Tales said...

Jill, you are LOVED by so many. I can't even begin to imagine the number of lives that have been changed because of Joshua's AMAZING life. Your child has left a legacy that will go on for years to come, as I'm certain that our Father has brought many to Him through Joshua's story. Just think of the eternal life that has been given to so many because they learned of God's amazing love through your son's story. What an amazing gift! What an honor to be his Mommy! A Mommy who LOVES her son with EVERYTHING she has.

Dawn, I ask that you read your comments once again. Is this how a social worker should treat a grieving mother? If you believe this is how someone within your profession should treat a Mother like Jill, then I kindly ask that you seriously consider changing careers. I will pray for you, even though you've asked us not to do so. I will pray for the families with whom you work. I will pray that Jill can find it in her heart to forgive your comments so that she may live in peace. I just pray for love.

Anonymous said...

My prayers are still with you, your family and baby Joshua. My hope is your precious angel may rest in peace, and his short life is commemerated with honor and dignity. I'm not sure that's happening when I read some of these comments. It's not about making nasty, baseless comments...and it's not about giving credence to those comments by responding. It's about your sweet boy and your family, plain and simple.

Wishing you continued healing.


Anonymous said...

To the so called "social worker"
I think you need to quit your job and find a new line of are doing your clients a horrable disservice...

Anonymous said...

We, as mothers, do what we believe is best for our children. We willingly sacrifice over and over for our children. Being a mother is the hardest but most amazing 24/7 "job" in the world. We are also human, capable of making mistakes. Are we any less a loving mother because we believe in one thing another disagrees with? I think not! I have 4 girls. We would like to have a son. If we were to be blessed with a son, I can't tell you at this moment what we would do. Is it a mistake to circumsize a baby boy? I think that decision is to be made by the parents and their beliefs. We are not to judge others. And whether a person is a Jew, Born Again Christian, Buddhist, Catholic or of any other belief it is not our place to over and over persecute a mother who has just lost a child! Regardless what our opinions/beliefs are! Jill- I pray for you and your family! And just to let you know, my daughters wanted to sleep in their play clothes last night and I let them and we ate at McDonalds tonight! MMmmmm... McRibs are great!! ;) Trista

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I wonder if the Dawn Birch who is anonymous is the same Dawn Birch who works/worked for Otter Tail County Human Services in Minnesota.

The Real Life of a Red Head said...


Layne said...

Hmm, and just with that bit of information, it would be very easy to find her home address, telephone number, what car she drives, etc...but that would be stooping even below HER level. ;-)

Brooke said...

Saw you on Mompetition, just coming to offer some love and support for you

Anonymous said...

once again more proof you all are a bunch of brainwashed idiots following the words of a murderer if you think i would post my real name on this blog. keep praying for me however..i am praying for you also to find the day maybe we will find each other.
"dawn birch"

Christine the ArizonaIntactivist said...

I keep coming back to your blog to look at these precious pictures! Sooooo sweet!

Anonymous said...

To "Dawn Birch"

You call yourself a Jew but do you really understand the Jewish traditions? I have several friends who are Jews and have informed me you my dear need refresher courses cause on the 8th day that a son is born he is circumsized.

I am sorry Jill this person is just plan weird and really making me sad. I hurt for you and your lose. I cannot imagine the pain you feel and to have to have this crap posted. You are a strong person.

Jan Ferguson( that is my real name)

Anonymous said...

"Dawn Birch"
Humm...maybe we are all missing something??? I know I dont see the title of DR anywhere in your name or any other medical professional title or credential????
Get some professiona help and stop picking on a grieving mother and her family. You must be sick to do something so low!!

lovingmysoldier said...

He was too perfect for our world....

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