Kirsten (who was 5 weeks behind me in her pregnancy) and I connected "randomly" (I say randomly because looking back there was so much divine intervention that caused us to meet- it's incredible) through twitter late one night. (She blogged about the method in which we met here) Sweet Ewan had just received his ToF diagnosis and Kirsten and I were both trying to make connections. Somehow our paths crossed and we connected.
Kirsten and I chatted for a while through Twitter, Facebook, and we found each other's blogs. We started on this journey together. We literally were so similar in our thoughts that she would write a post on her blog one night, and without having read it, I would write almost the same post the same night. She was one person that I knew could completely understand the fear, worry, and questions in had. She was walking right beside me and we were there for each other.We dreamed about sending our boys here together when they got older.
We continued our friendship up through Joshua's birth. She rejoiced with us in Joshua's birth, she prayed for us through his first surgery, and she cried with us after his first crash. I continued to try to encourage her through the end of her pregnancy, reminding her that she isn't alone in this journey, and I rejoiced with her when Ewan was born. I couldn't wait to see pictures of his sweet face- the face I had prayed for for so long. I cried and begged God on behalf of Kirsten and Ewan as he had his first emergency surgery. I cried as he struggled on ECMO. I prayed with Kirsten on the phone the day before Ewan died- trying to support her the best way I knew how.
Ewan left his mama's arms on Monday, Oct. 4th.
Joshua left my arms Wednesday, Oct. 6th.
We both said our final good byes to our sweet boys on Saturday, October 9th.
Looking back, our "random" meeting was not random at all. God intricately orchestrated every little detail that brought about our connection. He provided us each with someone who knew exactly what the other one was going through. Had we known at that moment that we would later become a support to each other through our son's deaths, I think both of us would have run as far away from each other as we possibly could. Praise God for not providing us with those details.
The day of Joshua's funeral, my heart was heavy for Kirsten and her husband James. They were burying sweet Ewan the same day we were saying our final goodbyes to Joshua. As we left the church after the funeral dinner, I turned to Shane and said, I would love to go meet Kirsten. He didn't look surprised or even argue that it was a crazy idea. He simply said yes.
I texted Kirsten and told her that I would love to come meet her. She texted me back saying that she had the same thought that same exact day. I told her I would get back to her, and we would figure out a time and a way to meet trusting that God would provide a way for this to happen if it was supposed to happen.
God has provided for us in mighty ways since Joshua's death- faithful friends who check in on me everyday, gifts that have brought comfort and healing, emails, texts, messages, tweets, facebooks and comments that have given me comfort and shown me love, the finances we have needed at the exact moment we needed them, and opportunities to heal. One amazing gift that was given to me was an airline ticket to go to Seattle to finally meet Kirsten.
I leave on the 27th and will come back on the 31st. I'm extremely nervous about going, I'm dreading seeing the raw grief in another mother's eyes who knows too well the horrors and sadness of losing a child in her arms. I am beyond excited to finally meet the woman behind the computer screen who has been my friend and my support. It will be good to be able to talk and laugh with someone who knows exactly what I am going through who experienced it step by step, side by side.
God works in some incredible ways. He has intertwined our stories for some truly Divine Healing.
18 comments:
I am so thankful for this Jill. So many times I have thanked God that Kristen and you have each other.
Praying even now for this trip and for healing for both of you.
I praise God for the arms he wraps around us through His people. What a comfort it can be.
Praying for a safe journey for you.
you and your family are so amazing. Keep holding on to God...
I've been following both of your blogs. I cried that whole week for both of you. I actually found out about Joshie's death via Ewan's blog. I'm so glad you guys will be able to meet. Mary
I have followed both of your sites every day. You are two amazing women. I am so glad that you can be able to meet each other your boys are in heaven together. Thanks for posting each day your words have encouraged me more than you will ever know. amy t.
I also follow Kristen's blog. I was not sure how close the two of you are as I have only been a follower in the past few months but I have always felt how similar the two of you are.
So proud of you for making that trip when I'm sure it's hard to even get out of bed some days.
I think the two of you will have an amazing time and I can't wait to hear about it in both of your blogs.
Awww....that's awesome.
I love it when God does that.
I pray that He will bring a spirit of peace and refreshing to you both as you continue to cultivate this relationship in an even more personal way.
That's amazing. Give her a big hug for me, okay?
God does orchestrate some amazing relationships through the these "heartaches" that we experience. I have made some awesome friendships too. Jill, I hope you and Kirsten have a great weekend relating what God is doing in your lives. You may find the rawness is taken away by sharing with someone who understands what you're going through. We continue to pray for your family as you journey on.
Jill: This is AMAZING! There is no other way that something like this happens other than through God's divine intervention. I pray for you as you take this trip by yourself with God at your side.
Well, my goodness. That's incredible! I'm so very glad you get to meet. I hope it's wonderful for you.
What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing... I hope your weekend together will bring about even more healing!
Jill,
I don't know you or Kirsten, or even how I came to both of your blogs but, I did and have been Praying for your sweet Angels and your families. When I read your post tonight, I had to come out of "lurkdom"(is that even a word?) to send the following that I shared at my dear, sweet sister-in-law's funeral. God Bless both of you and your families!
A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime:
People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. When you know which one it is for a person, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
I follow both your blogs, I am so glad to hear that you two will be meeting. I pray you have a safe trip.
Oh I am SO glad you two get to meet!
Just meeting and the inital hug will be a cornerstone of your healing (for both of you). To meet the person behind the face (screen name, blog, phone number, etc) is great. (My hubby and I met online so we're quite familiar with this.)
You'll be in Seattle a month before me. (Its where I'm from originally, though now I'm in Australia. Hubby and I arrive late November for 5 weeks.) From one fiesty redhead to another, enjoy your time with Ewan's mama.
If you think about it, could you give her a hug from me? Neither of you know or have met met, but I've been following her blog and yours for the last couple weeks and grieving your baby boys from afar. (I think I found both of you through Sawyer's Heart...) Her baby boy and mine are one letter apart. My babe is Evan, her's Ewan.
I am so glad you two get to meet. Enjoy eachother's company, grieve together, whatever it is you've got planned.
Much love from across the Pacific,
Kara (mama to two little angels named Julia and Evan)
I've been following both your stories - have cried and cried... and sent up huge prayer for your baby boys and families. So happy you get to meet... have a wonderful trip!
I am so happy for you that you finally get to go on this journey and meet another mother and friend! God does work in mysterious ways, and he always finds a way to get you what you need. You and your family are so strong and such an inspiration of faith. Keep God in your heart and you will make it through this. Mnany hugs to you all.
I'm so excited to meet you, Jill!! Just a couple more days ... <3
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