Friday, October 15, 2010

Random Things

I made a call a few minutes ago to check on the progress of things with Joshua. It is over. Everything has been taken care of and we can move on. His death certificate has been signed and certified and it is over. We finally have the closure we needed. THANK GOD!!!

I'm still waiting on word about Shaun's surgery. I know that Kim is feeling extremely nervous and would appreciate continued prayers. I'll update as soon as I know anything. UPDATE: Shaun is out of surgery and doing well. They were able to repair his leaky valve as well as successfully complete the hemi-fontan! Praise God! The next step is getting through the next 24 hours, so continue to pray for Shaun. Feel free to visit their page by clicking here and sign the guestbook to leave some love!!

I started back at Bible Study today. It was good to be back in a somewhat normal routine with women that I truly love and care about.

The kids last day at daycare will be Oct. 29th. It's bittersweet- they have both been going there since they were born, but I'm excited to start this next chapter in our lives. I just wish Joshua was here with us.

Last night was a bad night for me. But, today is a new day. I miss sweet Joshie more than anything and I expect to have some really hard days and nights, but I am so thankful for a God who remains constant and loves us more than we will ever know. It is only because of that Hope and Peace that we have in Him that we will get through this.

I'm thanking God for the small victory of today. Thanking Him for the peace that this afternoon brings. Praying for the surgeons that are working on Shaun's heart at this very moment. Trusting that His plan is good no matter what.


24 comments:

Carla Sue said...

Praise God for being so good. So true. So loving. I'm glad to hear that you have the death certificate and that this door has been closed. Baby steps.

Love you.

Tara Collyer Photography said...

I am praying for Shaun and his family and the doctors working on his heart. My God protect him, give wisdom to the doctors and peace to his family.
Your story really pulls at my heart strings as I have a little guy that had some problems from birth (severe reflux...def not the same as what your little guy dealt with, but still dealt with the unknown) and his name is Josh too.
I think it's absolutely awful that people are harassing you about this, but I also think you are doing an AMAZING job of showing God's love to these people. I don't know how you're doing it....I think I would be a complete wreck. Just know that people are praying for you and your family and there are a ton of people that are on your side.

Carolina Carters said...

I'm so glad you can feel a tiny bit of peace today. Still praying for you, Jill!

vickilikesfrogs said...

I'm so glad that things are getting better and that you have this victory! I will be praying for your friend's little boy, and I will continue to pray for you and your family also.

Anonymous said...

Praying for all of you and for Shaun and his family and the doctors and nurses. I am also glad thatyou have a little peace today. Small moments of peace are wonderful. Sending ((Hugs))

Rainy

Jeremy Weiss said...

Glad you can move a little further forward now. Been following along as always and I continue to admire the way you're a pillar of grace during this time, and remembering and supporting others as well (like us and Shaun!). Glad we continue to move along together. btw Shaun's out of surgery, ready to chill for a day on the vent. then wake up!

Paula B said...

God is good to us all the time. Like you said, He is constant. Still praying for your friends. Glad to hear surgery went well. We love you all.

Ashley said...

Hi Jill. I found your blog by way of another blog that I read, and I just spent 3 days reading all of your posts since April. I am finally caught up and just wanted to say that I am extremely sorry for your loss. I had my first child on Aug. 27th (my daughter, Harper) and I can't stop looking at her and being SO thankful for her health. I think that the fact that our children are so close in age, made reading Joshua's story so hard for me. Thank you for sharing his story. It has made me less frustrated when Harper won't stop crying or when I have to get up multiple times a night to feed her, even when I am exhausted. You have been in my thoughts for the past 3 days and will continue to be.

Ashley

Tracy said...

Hi Jill, I found your blog through another blogger. I can not even imagine the pain you must be going through. My sister lost two of her triplets two years ago, one shortly after birth, one at two months. They were born at 26 weeks. The way she hung on to her faith, much like yourself, has always been such an inspiration to me. Elijah the surviving triplet has truly been touched by God. Many things Dr's say he will never do, He is doing.

I can not understand how anyone could be so heartless to say the things that have been said and done to you, in such a time of pain and grief. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
With love and prayers,
Tracy

Arielle said...

Good Afternoon Jill,


My name is Arielle and I work with a small publicity company that partners with Christian authors trying to get their books off the ground. I read through many blogs to find the best possible readers for our authors. I am very eager to add you to my list of reviewers for a few specific books.

I'd love to send you one or two of these books to review, if this is something you'd be interested in please let me know! I hope to be hearing from you soon.

Arielle Roper
arielle@bringitoncommunications.com
Bring It On! communications
www.BringItOncommunications.com

The Cox Family said...

Hallelujah! Praise Jehovah! I am so happy for this victory and for closure!

Michelle said...

Hello Jill: I've been reading through your blog posts since last week when the "media" storm in the Midwifery community brought it to my attention ( I sent you a FB message; you may not have had a chance to read it yet ). As a mother who lost two infant boys and spent months in the NICU, your experience resonates powerfully with me. As a retired Midwife, and a Spiritual Director who walks with other women and families who have lost babies, I am spiritually consoled and heartened by how God is using your tragedy, and your open heart, to bring light and love into the world. I have been deeply angered and saddened by what you experienced from within a community I've long been a part of and I have spoken out against it as vehemently, and in as many places as I can access, and will continue to. May our good God continue to bless and heal you and your family and I'll keep reading and keeping up on all you, and hold you in prayer.

Kari said...

Thinking & praying for you today. Love, Kari, Joel's mommy

The Hands said...

Jill,
We are still praying for you and your family as you take life "one-day-at-a-time." I'm so proud of you sister. You have been dragged through much more than many could even imagine, but God's faithful hand has shown so evident in your posts about your thoughts and feelings. May you continue to hang on to that "last thread."

Nikki said...

I'm so happy you got this news in time for the weekend. You and your family need some peace and time to be together while you continue to grieve for Joshua.

I'm glad the drama has died down and hopefully it will stay that way :)

You have my prayers!

ArizonaIntactivist said...

Hope and Peace...what beautiful words...

Marie said...

"I'm thanking God for the small victory of today." What a beautiful thing. I am glad for you.

Mellow said...

Hi Jill. I too stumbled on your blog from another blog. I want to say to you I know your pain, and I hurt with you. We lost our son 6 months ago, he was 8 days old, to bacterial meningitis that he contracted in the hospital. The ache is still deep, and will remain, but, God walks beside us and carries us as we need to be carried. That is the only thing that gets us through, and will carry you through as well. I am also so sorry to hear about the attacks you have endured, we had a few as well..but you are right about one thing: Your faith and HOPE were shown to many who otherwise may not have see this kind of love being shown in such a time of grief. Bless you as you walk this journey...We walk it together, hand in hand, with Hope that will not fade.

The Constant Complainer said...

Jill, I am a first-time visitor to your blog from Cleveland, OH. Another blogger that I follow had mentioned the passing of your son, so I wanted to stop by.

I was terribly sorry to hear about your loss. And I was outraged to hear that certain groups/organization/people have been hassling you since then.

I don't know you and you don't know me. And I'm sure a lot of people are offering you advice. So here's all I will say.

My heart goes out to you and your family. And I'm deeply sorry for your loss. And if I may, I'll make one suggestion. Read a book called "The Shack." You mentioned that you were in Bible Study - they may have also suggested it to you.

I went through a phase in my life, not where I lost faith, but where I really strugged with the whole "why do bad things happen" and the "what's out there" questions. And someone suggested I read "The Shack." It's a story about a father who is grieving the loss of his daughter and receives an invite from God to spend the weekend and talk about it. If you can say "what if," it may be the most powerful (and/or spiritual) book you've ever read.

Jenny O said...

I found your blog through Uppercase Woman, and had to add a message of support to you and your family. As I wipe my tears I don't know if I can find anything particularly eloquent to add to what's been said already. I am glad that your dedication to your faith has brought you the peace and strength that you display so admirably, and I hope that your family is able to continue to heal in the privacy that you deserve.

Wayne and Sue Rasmussen said...

Amen and amen!

Anonymous said...

I do not know you but I heard about you and your precious baby boy, Joshua, from a group on Facebook. I ended up sharing the link that they provided with my FB friends. I suppose I am somewhat of an "intactivist" although my ideas mostly come from having grown up in France (where they don't circ.). I wanted to apologize for furthering your story went it was not mine to share. I am so amazed by your extraordinary Faith. Your are an extraordinarily beautiful mother and Joshua was so blessed to be part of your family! God bless you!

celeste said...

Hi Jill;

I just wanted to comment and say that I am so sorry that you and your family are suffering through the loss of your precious son. My own son was stillborn just over a year ago, and since then I have found the most extraordinary community of families suffering through the realities of pregnancy and infant loss. I would not be able to manage this difficult time without that kind of support. I am glad to see that you are also finding many sources of strength and support and hope that you continue to find people who can offer you their shoulders and their ears, rather than their judgment.

I'll be thinking of you and your family, and checking in regularly. Please know that there are more people who are not self righteous and self serving in their misguided attempts to further their own agendas. I am truly sorry that on top of the tragedy of losing your son you have to witness and endure the very worst of humanity. Take care.

Celeste

MelodyGoldburg said...

Jill,
I dont know you but have been reading your posts for about a week. I linked to you through Bowen's heart. My heart cries out for you. I have been including you in my prayers and I heard this song by Bebo Norman. It just made me think of you. I hope it touches you...

Have I become a soul so numb
All too familiar
Words of gold have all grown cold
Over and over

I need to see you in the sunrise

Time takes its toll on us
And it tries its best just to steal our love
And we bend and we break but we don't give up
Time takes its toll on us

From the start you touched my heart
And turned it in to something more
Beautiful, you're beautiful
So why does it have to be so hard

To see you in the sunrise

Time takes, time takes away
Love remains, love remains


Even though your sweet Joshie has been taken to God too soon - it is so obvious that the love remains and always will for you and your sweet family.

Love in Christ - Melody

 
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