Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Pooping

We all do it (some more graciously and publicly than others), so here is my post dedicated to it! ha! (as I reread this, I'm thinking to myself....I really need to get out of this hospital don't I?!)

I miss my toilet. Plain and simple. I miss the privacy of my own bathroom, and the freedom to poop without worry or fear.

There is nothing worse, in my opinion, than having to poop in a public restroom.

I don't know about you guys, but the stress of pooping in public restrooms is too much. I would much rather make myself sick holding it in than have to take the chance of someone walking in during or after a poop. (In fact, when I worked at an office job in college, I would drive almost 25 minutes home during lunch, skip eating lunch entirely, just to use my own bathroom at home instead of using the one at the office.)

One of my biggest fears about coming to the NICU from the PICU was the fact that we had our own private restroom in our room at the PICU that no one used other than me and Shane. (In light of everything else that was going on, isn't that such a stupid thing to stress out about?) We aren't so lucky at the NICU.

Once we came over to the NICU, the first order of business was to explore the women's hospital to find a restroom that was as secluded as possible. The less chance that someone will use it the better. We'll I found one (sorta) that has earned the official title of my pooping bathroom. It's far enough away from everyone else that the chances of someone having to use it after I am done are slim. But let me tell you....it is not the same as my bathroom at home. I'm still not 100% comfortable using the secluded pooping room. If I hear the slightest noise in the hallway, or see the smallest shadow under the door, I call off all operations and abort the mission.

Seriously, I know you guys are probably reading this, shaking your head, saying to yourself "What in the world is that woman on? Has she been taking hits of Joshua's methadone?! Why is she writing such a gross post about pooping?" But you have to admit that I'm right....or at least crazy....and when you are basically living at a hospital for a month or more, finding a good pooping bathroom becomes part of your basic survival needs!

 Can I get an AMEN?! (or maybe just a "yeah you're right"....at least try to validate my craziness!)



22 comments:

Carla Sue said...

I am so glad that I have not had to have that type of need. Before I became a primarily WOHM, I too used lunch breaks to come home and poop. Even now, sometimes, when our house has too many people or we are accommodating company, it's too stressful. I am right there with ya, so here ya go...AMEN!

SteveC said...

Oh my goodness!

I always have a problem with hospital toilets. Not the actual act itself, but when you flush it sounds like a jet just broke the sound barrier. I'm sure the windows just rattled and everyone in the hospital heard it! (And know exactly where that rush of wind and water originated!)

Steve

catie said...

AMEN! i remember my first weeks in hardy hall i would stay up late waiting for a time to poop in peace! like you i will hold until i am home when i am at work or around town - my most recent hold was an all day wedding shoot - but what choice did i have! amen amen jill !

Anonymous said...

AMEN Sister! Been there - done that. Don't like to use public restrooms. Something to be said about "doing the deed" in your own bathroom. Even if your husband stinks it up first!

Shannon Egan

Amy said...

You basically just put into words what most women only think about but would never admit (because, let's face it: no one wants to believe that women poop too, hahaha!). I'm a big fan of my own bathroom at home too. In fact, we have two bathrooms -- one on the main floor and one in the upstairs bedroom which has become "my" bathroom -- and I will actually make the effort to go my upstairs bathroom to do a #2. I never do it on the main floor anymore. I can totally feel your pain on the public restroom thing.

Joye said...

hahaha -- this post cracked me up :) reminds me of a night, about this far into ethan's 1st heart surgery, that my husband and i stayed up late to write a song about pumping. of course i posted it on the blog for all the world to read :)

whatever gets you through the day!

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

I just told our nurse that I wrote a post about pooping. She told me about the bathroom that she uses! Totally secluded! I'm gunna have to go check it out! haha!

Amy- I'm glad I can put into words what no woman will openly admit. There is no holding back from this lady here! haha!

Anonymous said...

Hello Jill,
You and I suffer from "Home Throne Syndrome". Yes, many people have this condition. You put it so well, you made me laugh. Glad you can still keep your spirits up. Bless your family.

Anonymous said...

Hello again Jill,
Just wanted you to know that since I have this strange condition, I needed to sign in as anonymous!

Avery Tales said...

Oh, I've so been there! I even use the upstairs bathroom at the office because no one ever goes up there. Thanks for sharing when others would be afraid to admit it! The women who say they never pass gas just crack me up. Seriously?? You never fart? Really? Because I'm afraid you would explode if you didn't..now isn't that a nice mental image!! Glad your spirits are up!

kirsten michelle said...

I'm afraid we're at opposite ends of the spectrum on this one -- not that I love pooping in hospitals, but that I've had some serious ... uh, issues with that particular bodily mechanism over the last several years. It came part and parcel with some thyroid/stomach issues and required extensive medical attention. Which meant I had to look at it, talk about it, get it tested (yes, and may I say EWWWW!!!) and consequently, it is now a frequent topic of conversation in our home.

But I can definitely understand where you're coming from. I was there once. Good luck getting it all out!! :o)

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

oh my....these comments are def. making me laugh! Love it! I'm so glad you all are joining in on the pooping fun and not telling me what a freak I am for posting something like that! haha! :o)

Katie Caine said...

one way I sometimes "get away" with pooping in a public bathroom is to first take some toilet paper and make a layer on the top of the water, I call it my "poop raft." Then when you poop-its silent! no loud "PLOP" to give you away! I haven't yet figured out how to cover odor...sometimes I wait in the stall until the other person washing their hands or whatever has left, so they don't see my face and can't identify me as a public pooper.

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

Katie!!!!!! i'm sitting here CRACKING UP!!!! i love the poop raft idea!!! oh my gosh....so funny!

I have waited until they are gone too, and I even go a step further and left my feet so they can't identify me by my shoes! hahahah!

Steph said...

You can get a lot of AMENS for that girl! Awesome for writing this post & I hope you get home soon to poop in peace :)

Stephanie Quintero said...

I am a fan of the mercy flush. The benefit of the mercy flush is two fold. First, if you flush as you are pooping, the smell is flushed away quicker. Mercy! That was bad! Everyone knows what you are doing when you mercy flush but at least you don't have to hear it plop. Plop avoidance is the second benefit.
However, I agree with you Jill. Pooping should only be a "home" experience.
In addition to Katie's genius poop raft there is also the butt muffler. Just in case you need to 'fluff' or 'pooper stinker' a wad of toilet tissue makes an excellent butt muffler.

Just so you know, my Ex-Husband told me that men operate exactly opposite from Ladies in the restroom. Supposedly, the louder you are in the restroom, the more respect you command. No thanks, I don't care to command respect with poop. Gross!

The Cox Family said...

Amen!!!! I am totally the same way! I have my bathrooms too!

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

OH MY GOSH!!!!! I'M CRYING I'M LAUGHING SO HARD! A BUTT MUFFLER????!!!!! That is pure genius!!!

I love you guys! Continue on with the pooping advice!

Marina said...

Girl, I send my husband to another side of the house if possible. Or wait until it's time for a shower. I hate public pooping. And my wonderful husband won't even close the door! I'm laying in bed, playing with Noah and all of the sudden...plop...plop. REALLY? *shudder* Men. Anyway, if I have to do it, I just hide and distract myself with my iPhone. I wonder how I ever did it without a smart phone...

Amanda Fluharty said...

I REFUSE to poop in anything but the privacy of my own bathroom. Heck, I don't even pee in a public restroom unless absolutely necessary. Even when I had my babies, I never even took the stool softners they give you, I would wait until I got home to have my first on MY toilet. And actually, I don't even use the downstairs bathroom, I will walk all the way upstairs to the master bathroom to poop on the off chance someone comes over. I know, I'm a freak. We should start a support group or something.....

chrissy Funk said...

The other day my father in law, husband and myself were in the livingroom watching a movie. At a super quiet part of the movie we here "PLOP PLOP PLOPPPP PLOPPP" from the bathroom (avry didn't close the door).... We just all started laughing. :-D HAHAH

Funny how kids don't care.
We'll be in the bathroom at the mall and he'll be grunting away.. mmmommmm i gotttaaa pooop almmaaloootttt of poooooopppp. LOL

StevenSauke said...

Well, isn't that just poopy! (Not usually one for potty humor, but on rare occasions, I like to try)

Gotta say, that was a moving post!

 
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