Tuesday, August 24, 2010

You know you've been in the hospital too long when......

1. You know which sleep rooms have a thermostat and the nurses don't. You beg the nurses to give you either room B or D so you can control the temperature.

2. The nurses know your entire life story, and you talk to them like they are your best friends.

3. The nurse sneaks OUT of the room because they are tired of hearing your jaws flap out of pure boredom.

4. When you celebrate the fact that there is a tiny bit of pee in the tube hanging from Joshua's bed.

5. You are convinced that the hospital food is laced with stool softners.

6. Your husband tells you that he enjoys the smell of his own poop after eating the cafeteria pizza.

7.  You know how many ceiling tiles are in the ceiling.

8. When 60 out of 100 word search puzzles have been completed in just 5 days.

9. You have all the prices of everything at the gift shop memorized.

10. When room service knows your voice when you call, and doesn't allow you to get more than one entree per meal. (Not that we have been ordering extra food for me to share with Shane....we would never do that!)

11. When the social workers try to avoid you because you try to get free meal tickets off of them every time you see them.

12. You know which bathroom to use because it will not be used immediately (or even anytime soon ) after you use it.

13. You realize that the best time to do laundry is in the middle of the night because when your load is done, you don't have anyone standing over you watching you transfer your undies to your laundry basket because they are waiting impatiently for the dryer.

14. When you've pumped and stored so much breastmilk that the nurses tell you that the next time someone comes out for a visit or you go home, that you have to take some home with you because the freezer is full.

15. When the "tickle" in your throat and the itchiness of your face magically disappear after stepping outside into the fresh air.

16. You are laughing hysterically at a blog post about being in the hospital for too long, when it's really not that funny!


Molly Alisa Photography said...

LOL! I thought it was funny!

Kathie said...

Yeah, I identify with all that.

When you go home, you will be excited for doctor's appointments because you can go visit your "friends", lol.

Jake & Stephanie Ellinger said...

The sad thing is its funny because we've had a lot of those same thoughts!

And yes - Kathie is right about going back for a visit and seeing your "friends".

Hope that Joshua keeps showing his fighting spirit!

Natalie Johnson said...

SO TRUE!!! I can atest to each one of these happening when we are in the hospital with Reagen. I'm so glad I'm not the only one!!! LoL

Natalie mom to Reagen (HLHS survior 10 yrs.,pacemaker)

Hope's Blog said...

It is sad an funny...I can relate to each and every one of those.

The Cox Family said...

As a NICU nurse - AMEN! Totally understand!

Anonymous said...

When you can tell what are the good meals and what are the bad in the cafeteria.

When you can convert the kg to lbs faster than the nurses.

When you have to dig thru the garbage because you accidently thru out the diaper that has to be weighed. (hey - I was operating on no sleep and this is my second child...it was instinct to throw it in the trash!)

When you know how the night nurse likes her coffee.

When she knows how you like yours.

When you cry over ounces (not lbs)

Welcome to the club, Jill. We promise there is no "super secret" knock you have to know...you just have to be able to dance the shuffle.

There is this painting that hangs in our children's hospital in St. Pete and one of the quotes on it is this:

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

Might I say that your dance steps so far have been nothing but graceful and elegant. Joshua is one lucky little boy to have you fighting for him.

I tell my children everynight the same thing before I kiss them and tuck them into their beds: "out of all the little boys (or girls) in the world, how did mommy get so lucky as to get the very best one?" You got the very best one for you....broken heart and all!

Shannon Egan

Carla Sue said...

I'm going to quiz you on ceiling tiles when I come. :)

Carolina Carters said...

LOL! Oh, the joys of hospital life!

It's a good sign when you're bored! :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Jill-

We have mutual friends Becky and Jesse Cox from Houston. I worked with them on the MS150 medical team. I heard about you guys from her prayer requests for you and Joshua on her FB page, now I am addicted to your blog. So much that I set it as a favorite on my desktop at work. Know that we are praying for you, and Joshua. God is GOOD, ALL THE TIME. I truly believe he will bring you through this keep the faith.

The Shelley Family
Nathan, Brandy, Connor and Adalyn

Mary E. said...

I enjoyed it! And I have one to add:

When your discover you have allergies you never knew existed because your eyes are perma-red and itchy for days on end.

SteveC said...

.... when you hesitate to flush because the toilet sounds like a 747 taking off. You *know* that pulling that handle will wake everyone up and shke the building!

(Former Resident!)

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