Saturday, August 28, 2010

Back Your Udders Up.....

It's time for a milkin'!!!

Feast your eyes upon this beast!



This is my WIC issued medical grade pump.

See that blue arm? It pumps back and forth.

On it's lowest setting, the stimulation mimics small vampire children trying to feast on a meal.

The standard setting, level 4, sucks so hard, my eyes pop out, my toes curl,
and I come out with swollen and hickey-ed nipples.

Not to mention it can empty me out in a grand total of 5 minutes.

Come on baby! It's time for a milkin'!


(I need a name for this bad boy.

 Leave a comment below to help me come up with one!)

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

I named mine the "Suck-o-Rama" or SOR(e) for short. As in "I have a date with SOR(e) in 5 minutes"

I laughed when I read the part about vampires because that is what it really felt like. The first time I used it I was yelping in pain. I just bite the bullet so to speak and did the "double pump" so I could get it over with (it hurt that bad) but I focused on the reason why I was doing it!

Shannon Egan

Paula Blackstone said...

I love Shannon's idea! I can't come up with anything better than that. Jill, Katie and I cracked up on this posting.

The Great Mooski said...

Well, I used the Symphony, so I called it "Ol Yeller (b/c it's yellow but also I got so sick of it I wanted to yell!! I was attached to that thing for a little over a year!)."

The Super Sucker, Milker, I borrowed one from a friend I not-so-fondly dubbed the Nipple Ripper 2000... Good luck!! I guess u could call it Ol Blue or the Blue Bandit..

Melinda said...

Wow...I've seen less scary milkers in a dairy!

Veronica said...

I'm scared now.... I've never used an electrical pump before! Sounds painful... I am bringing some Soothies glycerin pads to hopefully help like they do with those early nursing days. Hope your days get easier with the Blue Beast!

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

OH MY GOSH......The Nipple Ripper 2000.....I am dying laughing! That is perfect!

Amy said...

Oh my flippin' goodness! Nipple Ripper 2000 is awesome! (But may wanna call it Nipple Ripper 2010, haha!). This post cracked me up!! When I was trying to nurse Sean, I could sit on one of those pumps for 30 minutes and I'd literally get maybe 1/2 ounce on a good day (more like 1/4 ounce was typical). That was total. For both sides (!). I think we called it the juicer, which is totally not creative. I like Nipple Ripper.

Stefenie said...

How about the "this isn't what I had in mind when they said breast feeding is a beautiful thing" machine.

Funny post Jill!

Anonymous said...

That pump is hands down the BEST pump ever! I have tried every manual and electric pump out there and none can hold a candle to it. Yes it's bulky and not too pretty but it was a Godsend. Use it and pump as much as you can because once your little man comes home you just might find yourself not being able to. My husband used to joke that there was so much breast milk in the deep freeze that he was going to start drinking it :) Seriously though I'm glad that you got out of the hospital for a little while but I know how torn you must feel. Praying in IL~ Crystal

Amy Bennett said...

Awww...the WORST part of this whole process, I swear - the constant pumping! A little over 6 months into it and I'm still at it (as I'm sure you're discovering exclusively pumping is nowhere near as meaningful and wonderful as breastfeeding), but it's worth it. Bodie ended up being NPO much of his first few months that we had to buy a chest freezer to hold all my milk. We're slowly eating through it, but I have about 2 months stashed - just trying to pump as long as I can!!! Hang in there mama - and pump as much as you can now before your supply has regulated itself! Good luck!!!

Jennifer said...

I'm voting for Bessie :) Blessing for you and your sweet baby!

Hope's Blog said...

OMG...that is a scary machine. I have a wonderful Medela with a carrying case and everything. I would be happy to send it to you as I am now done pumping and having kids.

kirsten michelle said...

So this is what I have to look forward to, eh? Thanks for the warning!! I will be preparing myself for the vampire children. :o)

Hannah said...

No creative ideas for a name, but keep up the exclusive pumping. My little one with HLHS was a sporadic nurser between stage one and stage two, but upon bringing her home from her Glenn, she began exclusive breastfeeding. So multiple positives to putting yourself through the wringer (hey, a name suggestion afterall!) Also, I have two other kids and once you are all home it IS harder to find time to pump; keep at it as best you can. And I'm sure you've been told to keep pumping beyond the milk flow to build your supply? No small feat with the pain you might have, but hang in there.

Mommy K said...

I'm for nipple ripper 2000! =) Blue Moo? (get it? Blue Moon....nevermind, ha!) Just be happy you have a pump. I should have looked into WIC. They should advertise that service! A friend of mine sent hers from the east coast, but I'll have to give it back someday!

EvaEspinoza said...

This reminds of the time my supervisor was pumping in an empty office when the window washers started to make their way down the side of the building. The first time they brought me the breast pump in the hospital my husband and I laughed so hard I had to call the nurse for pain meds, I thought I had torn my incision. Breast milk stories are just too funny!

 
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