You know you are 9 months pregnant when....

You just might be 9 months pregnant if......

• Your 2 year old hugs your legs when standing up and she disappears under your belly.
• You frequently hear "How are you? You look miserable!" gee thanks!
• People are no longer afraid to ask when you are due. There is no mistaking that there is a baby in that belly.
• Everytime you pee you think your water broke because it doesn't stop. It just keeps coming and coming and coming.
• You have the path to the bathoom memorized so you can navigate your way there and back in the pitch black of night.
• Your husband has to sleep in sweats and a sweatshirt under a big comforter while you refuse to sleep in anything more than undies and a tank top with a fan blowing on you full speed. Not because you want to feel sexy, but because if you don't, you will quickly die of over heating.
• You come home from working with the public and your shirt is dirty. Not because of bumping into things, or spilling food, but because people apparently think that rubbing your belly is just as good of luck as rubbing a Buddha.
• You are up at 3:20am writing a "You know you are 9 months pregnant when...." post because of your insomnia.
• You can officially use your belly as a table, desk, or shelf.
• Your toenails are a mile long and you have random patches of hair on your legs because you can't quite reach your feet any more to clip and shave.
• Maternity dresses are no longer cute because you literally look like a tent- you could fit small children under your dress.
• You try to avoid coughing, sneezing, and laughing because you didn't bring an extra pair of pants with you.
• All of your maternity shirts have now become belly shirts.
• You have perfected the waddle.
• You show up to church (of which you happen to be on staff) in Sunday's finest- cut off sweat pants and an XL t-shirt (that happens to not be so XL anymore) for the simple fact that it took every ounce of energy to even get out of bed.
• Getting up off the floor includes crawling on hands and knees to the nearest stationary object and using every last ounce of strength to pull yourself up using your arms while having your children push on your behind to "boost" you up.
• Your husband has resigned himself to sleeping on the futon for the remainder of the pregnancy because you flop like a carp out of water from one side to the other. All. Night. Long. ( written by Amy)
• Cabbage Patch Feet. (enough said) (written by Amy)