Friday, February 26, 2010

Up and Down

Pregnancy in itself has it's ups and downs. Pregnancy with SCH (Subchorionic Hemorrhage) has it's extreme ups and downs.

My doctor (the specialist), which at this point I'm not horribly impressed with yet, has called me 2 times to reschedule. When you live appointment to appointment waiting to hear that no news is good news, it's a big deal when your appointments are rescheduled. (I understand that doctors have families and a life too.)

My original appointment was scheduled for this upcoming Monday. They called yesterday to ask if we could reschedule for Tuesday. Not a big deal. I rescheduled for Tuesday. (I was told when I went in after my gush last Tuesday to stay off work until my next appointment.) They called me again today and told me that they need to reschedule for a week from Monday.

Now I can't work for another week. I also have to wait. Wait to see my baby. Wait to see if the hemorrhage has shrunk. Wait to hear no news, good news, or bad news. The waiting for peace of mind is the worst.

I go through spurts of joy, love, peace, frustration, anger, dispair, and self pity. I know my hormones probably play a role in all of it, therefore I try to not let the ups and downs get to me, but it's so dang hard. The not knowing, the worry, the waiting. It's enough to make me crazy.

It makes me even more crazy that life goes on. People resume back to their normal schedules. My kids need to continue a somewhat normal routine. Life moves on while I sit and watch from my stupid worn in couch. So much needs to be done, and my poor husband can only do so much. The worst part is that this could go on until August.'s only February. uuuggghhh.....

I'm trying to get over it. I promise. Just give me some time. I'm sure I'll be on top of the world in the next hour. :o(


The Cox Family said...

You have every right to feel that way! I would be frustrated too! I don't know how everything works, but for your peace of mind can you get into your OB next week? I can't imagine having to wait a week at a time to know for sure that everything is ok. You are still in my thoughts and prayers constantly. Know you are are loved! ;o)

The Ag Teacher's Wife said...

Wow. I can understand perhaps rescheduling a routine OB appointment, but you have a very serious complication. I think that you have every right to be dissapointed and upset. Still praying for you! (((Hugs)))

Avery Tales said...

You so have the right to be frustrated with your doctor! I would be furious! Waiting for an appointment can make life very difficult. I'm 24 weeks and I still get anxious before an appointment. The only thing that helps me through the difficult days is reading my Bible and praying. I always pray for His peace and He always grants it, but sometimes I have to aks for it over and over and over again! :)

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