Monday, February 8, 2010

My heart will choose to say......

Lord blessed be your name....

I'm really struggling with fear this morning. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the blood that is still flowing. Fear that I will lose this life inside me.

Joshua 1:9 is slowly becoming my life verse. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

A few weeks ago I declared war on Satan. I'm tired of his attacks. This is just another one to try to discourage me, and pull me away from God's ways, to wear me thin.

So instead of focusing on my fear (I am only human....) I am going to choose to bless His name.....

I am thankful to God for.....
~waking up to both my babies sleeping in the same exact positions across the room from each other this morning.
~that the bleeding has at least slowed
~our amazing church family who has come together with prayer, meals, and support
~facebook- some of you are probably would be thankful for facebook....but it allows me to get the word out quickly for people to start praying. Because of Facebook, we have people praying from all over the country.
~my parents who are willing to help out in whatever way  needed.
~my husband who turned green when the doctors first told us that our original blood work came back that I had in fact miscarried.
~a sneak peak at this little life inside me. The nubs have turned into arms and legs. This ultrasound was the most beautiful one I've had yet.
~my amazing doctor who sent me a message on facebook encouraging me to stay strong
~friends from high school who I have not talked to in years who have sent me words of encouragement.
~this allows me to process everything that is going on and to be able to publicly say that my God is a good God no matter what happens.
~a big screen tv
~a God who is bigger than this. A God who will continue to love me no matter what. A God who knows the plans He has for this baby. Even if those plans include death sooner than we want.
~I'm thankful for a God of mercy, who spared my child for even just one more day.

For those of you wanting to help, I will say it again. The biggest help you can give us is your prayers. I want to ask you to beg God for healing, and a beautiful healthy baby. But I also know that that is our will. Please pray that God's will be done, and that no matter what happens He gets all the glory. (Praying for God's will has never been so scary in my entire life.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm in awe of you and what you are letting God do in your life. "Oh the joys of those who put their TRUST in HIM" Psalm 2:12

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