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Thursday, October 7, 2010


I posted this earlier, but in light of other situations, I took it down. I am reposting this because there have been an enormous amount of people asking for the details. I am confident that most of the other situations have died down, and I am confident in the hope that there will not be any trouble at the viewing and funeral.

The viewing will be held at Myers Funeral Home in Huntington. Please click that link to find the address.  Viewing hours are from 6pm-8pm Eastern Time.

The funeral will be held at New Hope United Bretheren Church in Huntington. It is located at 2001 Engle Rd. Huntington. Funeral will be held at 11am but the doors will open at 10am.

If you are coming from out of town, please let me know. We have places available for you to stay.

We are also asking in lieu of flowers that monetary gifts be sent directly to the funeral home addressed to Shane and/or Jill Haskins.

We welcome anyone who has been touched by Joshua's sweet life here on earth and who wants to celebrate Joshua's return to Heaven.


Wyatt's Mommie said...

Your story has touched me as I lost my son Wyatt James to HLHS on my 30th birthday, 6/6/10. I am so very sorry for the stress that one person or their group is putting you through. You do not need that right now. What you need is a community of BLMs and families to show that we care. And I DO! I am so very sorry for your loss. I have been thinking of you all day and the pain that you are enduring. Please know that I would love to help you with whatever you need. To share my story, to help listen, to even just send a card.
I am so very sorry for the pain that you are experiencing right now. I wish I could be there to give you a huge hug.
Much love,
Megan - Wyatt's Mommy

CP said...


I am trying to get in touch with you regarding your story. I would like to talk to you via email when you have the chance, when you are feeling a little calmer and after you have laid sweet Joshua to rest.

I am not a pro or anti circ activist at all. Just another mom who lost her baby to heart and lung defects and I want to share MY story with you. You may come to realize that you are certainly not alone in the decision you made for your son.

With love and sorrow that only a mother can possible know...

CP (certifiableprincess@yahoo.com)

ArizonaIntactivist said...

Hello Jill,

It would be wonderful if eventually you could set up a Pay Pal account to accept donations.

I know that I would personally like to make a donation in Joshua's name to your family.

As I spent last night reading your blog, I know that you are also financially spent and there are those that are able and willing to help.

As you concentrate on your family and healing, others can help with the financial burdens of the past year.

Please think about it....

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

cp- jillhaskins1@yahoo.com i would love to hear your story

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

arizonaintactivist- monetary donations can be sent directly to us through the funeral home. You can contact them for further details.

ArizonaIntactivist said...

Thank you, I will.

Jessica Makuh said...

Our 2 year old daughter Lauren has HLHS and we know the fight that you have fought for 7 weeks. We are so sorry for your loss. Heart defects take the lives of too many babies and no parent should have to endure the loss you are feeling. Please know that many people are on your side and are thinking and praying for you and your family. God Bless Joshua and God Bless You.

LC said...

Jill, I hadn't heard of you before this morning, when @mommywantsvodka tweeted about you. Having been through the loss of my 5 year old niece and watched my sister in law grieve, I know there is nothing to say that can ease the pain.
Please know that even though some people used the internet to make your tragedy part of their agenda, there are many of us here in cyberspace who are holding you and your family in our thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Joshua.

Lindsey said...

I also lost my son to HLHS. I know this pain, and I am sorry for your loss. I am praying for you as you go through the next few days. I know from experience how hellish they are.

If you need a virtual ear, you can e-mail me at sopranolindsey@yahoo.com

Elizabeth Byler Younts said...

Jill-praying for peace for you & family. While we've never officially met, I feel like we've been on a long journey since God brought us together early in our pregnancies. I love that you're fierce & fiesty...keep that going, Jill...your fierce love for God & Joshua has carried you through these MONTHS and your fiesty-ness has always told you what decision to make. You are an amazing mother now and always. Joshua could not have asked for better parents. If ANYONE makes nasty comments definitely do your best to ignore them. There is no reason for anyone to be attacking you on ANY level.

With so much love from mother to mother...


Auntie M said...

Dearest Haskins Family~
I know I am a stranger to your family, but I am so terribly sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. While I know that your lives have been changed irrevocably by the loss of your son, I know that you are tucked in the arms of our loving Lord.
I am also so terribly sorry to hear of these attacks being made against you, and how your grief has been sideswiped by uncaring, unknowing people.
Please know that there are many people out there who are offering your family love & support.

Anonymous said...

You are a loved and admired by a million strangers, I hope your family heals soon.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jill,
I have read your story since the day before Joshua was delivered. I am very sorry for your loss I do not have any children but am so moved by your strength. Please do not
Let the cruel opinions of others silence your voice! I know the road ahead of you will be doughnut I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers!

Sara@iSass said...

Dear Jill,
I have been reading {catching up} on your blog through out the day. Molly K. And Josh are dear friends of mine. I wanted to say I am so sorry about Joshua. My heart aches for you and your family. I loved what "anonymous" wrote just before me: You are loved and admired by strangers. I look forward to not being a "stranger" because I happen to LOVE redheads!
I will be thinking of you and praying.

Jen said...

I heard of you and your family indirectly through @mamakatslosinit, and just wanted you to know that I (like so very many others) am praying for you and your family during this time. Much love to you and yours from Halifax, Canada.

Cindy C said...

Oh I am so terribly sorry... words sometimes don't suffice, but I know God's words can. His words have been the only words that have brought comfort to me. My son passed away 4 weeks ago. I am praying God gives you strength to get through your days. That he will give you the peace that surpasses all understanding. A friend of mine gave me a journal to write my thoughts in and I used it to be place to write words of truth to get me through the roughest places. Here is some things I wrote in my journal:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. Is. 43: 2

"He is so faithful, it's only in our doubting Him that we really suffer." Ariel Kontz

"I will sing of your mercy that leads me through valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy." Jar of Clay

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way but not crushed; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed. 2 Cor. 4:7-9

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may about in hope. Romans. 15:13

He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Ps. 147:3

The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves those that are crushed in Spirit. Ps. 34:18

Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. Ps. 34:10

Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Matt. 11:28

"Heaven is better."

I am so terribly sorry, and I will quote Mary Beth Chapman and say, "You will get through this, but not ever will you get over it! So you will journey on, knowing that this isn't your home and that when you reach your journey's end, you will be with Joshua longer than you will have been without him."

I am praying for you and so very terribly sorry..

mario& rita said...

Jill and Family, i only know you from your blog and babycenter , we are HLHS also and fighting. I am a grown man crying right now, i don't know what to say, i am so so sorry for your incridable loss.

Piece and love forever.


Another Heart Mommy said...

I have followed your blog and messages on babycenter, as another CHD parent. My heart is broken for you. May you and your family find peace in knowing that Joshua is in God's healing hands.
I'm soooo sorry for the pain some people have caused you. Some people just don't understand the world a CHD parent lives in.

Anonymous said...

I am truly sorry for your lose, don't mind what other people say about what you do or did they are obviously ignorant people with no life's. Even though I don't know you I know you loved that little boy with all of yourself. Stay strong and God bless you and your family.

Pamela said...


Taryn has set up a Paypal account for donations should anyone choose to use it.

Jill & Shane,
My thoughts will be with you tonight and tomorrow.
Yet again I am so very very sorry for your loss.
There are no words.

cdg said...

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. My heart breaks for you and your family.
Sending love and healing your way.
~here from lfca~

nicugradsmom said...

I am so sorry for what you have had to endure. I continue to keep your family in my mind and heart. I am so sorry I can not be there to say good bye to sweet Joshua. Words can never tell you how priviledged I feel that you allowed me to visit with you and him. He and you will forever be in my heart. May God pour out his Holy spirit on you and Shane during this very difficult time. I hope that if I am ever faced with something so devistating that I handle it with the grace and courage that you have shown. Much love, The Hartmann Family

ArizonaIntactivist said...

So glad that a Pay Pal donation account was opened. Please let's help this family while they are healing!

Justine L said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, and to hear about what you've had to go through. Many more of us are here to support you, to offer our thoughts and prayers, and to hold you close to us, hoping that we might bring you some comfort.


Searching said...

I am so very sorry of the devastating loss of your beautiful Joshie. I love the picture you have on the side of him. I know his sweet face will be carved into your heart forever. You will snuggle him again one day, but I know that seems like eternity until you get there. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss and even more sorry for all of the drama. You were wonderful parents that loved your son greatly and we hope you continue to educate people about CHD. I am a fellow heart mommy and will am deeply touched by your story. I will be thinking of your family often. - David's mommy

Cin said...

May God welcome home your sweet son -- and may He console you in your grief.

All of my heartfelt sympathy to you, one mother to another.

I knoew you know this, but repeating it may help a tiny bit -- it was not your fault, you are blameless in this.

Kara G said...

I'm so sorry for your loss and so sorry to hear that you have had to deal with such incredibly rude and insensitive people during this period of unimaginable grief. I pray that you will feel God's presence as he carries you through the days and weeks to come.

Diane said...

My thoughts are with you and your family at this devestating time. I cannot imagine how difficult this is for you and hope you know that even strangers on the internet are sending healing wishes your way.

Sheree said...

Not sure how I got here thru various sites researching the c - word but am compelled to mention my heartbreak for your loss. Tears are falling worldwide for you and family. Sending you love and courage.
May all activists, for whatever cause, do so from the purest place of love and act with compassion and a view to making this world a better place.
Sheree, australia

Anonymous said...

please know that i am praying for and thinking of you and your family.

nabrissa said...

Cindy C. that was beautiful! Jill i love you... my thoughts and prayer WILL be with you throughout this weekend.... it's not much but it's what i have... i LOVE YOU GUYS and i miSS YOU Terribly!!! Happy Celebration!!! I will be celebrating his life from Senegal...

Kris said...

I wish I lived closer so that I could give you a hug and support in person, but I don't so I just want to give you another computer hug


Mrs A said...

oh so sorry to hear of your loss of your sweet little baby, love and hugs across the miles xx

Teresa Okeson-Prater said...

I am so sorry you have to go thru this. I am still in the grieving process myself. My sonAndrew 20 years old with HLHS died September 4. I know what you are experiencing and I grieve for you and with you. Many heart hugs to you as you go thru this. Teresa Okeson-Prater patchesgizmo@yahoo.com

Mama Mel said...

I have nothing more to say to you other than I am sorry and *hugs, love and light*

Claire said...

Jill --

I actually came to your site via one of the intactivist forums that I frequent. But let me say that, from one mother to another, you have nothing from me but compassion and prayers. You are facing something that for many of us represents our worst fear imaginable. No mother should ever have to lose a child. My heart goes out to you and your family in this time of grief. Your Joshua was a beautiful boy who was clearly loved beyond measure.

This is a time for peace, for healing, for drawing together. We all know this. Please don't let a few bad apples convince you otherwise. No matter how passionate we feel for our "cause", *whatever* that cause may be, we are parents first. The loss of a child is agonizing, a tragedy that only love can even begin to mitigate.

I hope you and your family are able to remember Joshua the way he deserves to be remembered, and that when you're ready to reach out again, you find only the good waiting to receive you from every corner. My prayer for you is that the kindness, the compassion, the love that is out there for you (even in places you would not expect) spills over and washes away any ugliness that has come your way like a wave on the shore.

I'm so, so sorry that Joshua's heart couldn't keep up the fight. He was a warrior, a brave, valiant soul, and I will remember his spirit today and for many years to come. Rest assured that many, many people who might never have met your son otherwise are doing the same. Your child's life may not have been a lengthy one, but he has touched more lives than many do in a hundred years on Earth. I hope you can take some comfort in that knowledge, and that God grants you peace and understanding in His time.

Melody said...

Here from LFCA. My daughter was born with a broken heart too. Love and strength to you at this time. Sending light.

Becky said...

Jill, I'm so very sorry to hear about Joshua's passing. I'm glad you are able to find comfort in your faith. All my best to you and your family,
Becky (kayleysmom2006 from the SCH board)

Roccie said...

Dear Jill,

I am deeply sorry for your family's tragic loss.

I wish I could do more than cry here.

Anonymous said...

With deepest sympathy for your families loss. I am sending you a huge hug.

Lana said...

You are in my prayers. Our firstborn son was stillborn this summer and there are no words to express my deep sympathy or the deep pain that comes with losing a child. A dear friend of mine has two children with hypoplastic left heart, one who is living and one who is not. I came across your blog on her blog page and had to check out the "red heads" blog as a fellow red head. I am so sorry for your loss. Our God is a great God of power and strength and peace. And you will be in my prayers, with love.

AtYourCervix said...

I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your precious son Joshua. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Sunshine said...

My heart truly aches for you and your family during this time of loss and pain. May the love and peace of Christ be with you now. May you once again come to feel the goodness of God and the joy to be found in life.

Loss is devastating, and I applaud your willingness to acknowledge God's goodness and sovereignty, and or for admitting that there are times when belief does not match feeling.

May your hearts continue to heal, and may the love you shared with Joshua be a constant source of peace and grace.

In Christ.

Miriam Pollack said...

Dear Jill,

I am a Jewish woman who is also an intactivist, but more than anything else in my life, I am a mother. Your loss breaks my heart. There is nothing worse than the loss of a child--the maximum, utterly unbearable pain. I think of you day and night and send you, your husband as well as Caleb and little Hannah blessings of deepest healing as you make your way through this heart wrenching grief. You are not alone.


Passionate lady said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wordgirl said...

I am here through Mel's LCFA -- I am so, so deeply sorry for your loss. Please know that there is a whole community of people out here buoying you and wishing you and your family peace in this unthinkably difficult time.



Mason's Dad said...

No words can express how sorry I am for your loss. We have been praying for you and your family since we started reading your blog when our son was diagnosed as a heart baby. We will continue to pray for you still.

Passionate lady said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
westmetromommy said...


I have just now been able to log on my computer after a few days and I just want you to know how absolutely sorry I am to hear about Joshua. I have been praying for Joshua--and you, and your entire family--since I first found your blog and am just heartbroken. Now, I pray for peace for all of you in this hard time. :-( (Unfortunately, emoticons are the only way to go....)


Stacy Stehle said...

Jill - I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you and your family loving energy. You are all in my prayers!

Much love and support!
Stacy Stehle

Anonymous said...


I really wish I could be there to give you a great big hug! Please know I'm there with you in spirit and will continue to pray for you, your husband and your children. You are such an amazing mother and example of what true Christianity is.

Jill said...

I am so sorry for your loss. May the love of God and those around you carry you through this difficult time.

~here via LFCA

Lisa M said...

Jill -
Like others, I only know of your story through babycenter. I can't imagine what you are going through, but from one heart mommy to another, I hope that your faith helps in your healing. My heart goes out to you.

With deepest sympathy,

Anonymous said...

I am an intactivist, but first and foremost I am a mother. I am so terribly sorry for your loss and cannot imagine the pain you must be going through. This is not a time to place blame. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Mickie said...

I have been reading so long that I don't even remember how I came to your blog! As a Mom, I cannot imagine your pain. As a child of God I pray for your family. Children are gifts that God allows us to borrow from Him to teach us what love truly is. Hold on to your faith. I pray God holds your heart and gives you peace.

Dagmar said...

Dear Jill, I am against circumcision -- I've read too much about what happens when it's done and I can't imagine cutting off a piece of my healthy, perfect little son and putting him through that -- but first and foremost I am a mom and I can't even fathom what you are going through right now. I am SO sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry that people are using your son's story to be ugly and hurtful. That is never right.

With deepest sympathy,
Dagmar's momsense

Joel said...

To the Haskins family,

I don't really know how the world keeps going after things as unfair and sad happen. My heart is with you all during this struggle.

I truly want to apologize on behalf of the intactivist community for those who responded in anger instead of compassion. We are a large and growing movement, and coupled with internet anonymity, some people will respond differently than the "core" message of this movement - which is not about accusing well-meaning parents!

I know you felt bullied, and what a WRONG time for people to be thinking about "making a point" when it was a time to come together.

I love the comment you made about making a difference through love, not hate. I couldn't agree more. In my view, that is the true core of intactivism.

I wish you and your family the best in this long journey forwards. Healing will come in time.


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