Capture your Grief Day 2: Identity

When we discovered that our 3rd child would be a boy, 

we didn't know what we would name him. 

After many scares during my pregnancy with him, 

and then again at the discovery of his heart defect, 

we knew we needed a name with a meaning. 

We didn't know how long we would have Joshua with us. 

We didn't know what our future would hold.

But we did know that God would provide. 

He whispered to us that He would make it manageable. 

He told us it would be hard, but he would deliver us. 

We also felt like the baby's name should be Joshua. 

In the Bible, Joshua and his brother Caleb led the Israelites into the Promised Land. 

The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. 

They suffered, they struggled, and they lost faith. 

But God was faithful. 

He fulfilled his promise to deliver them. 

In Joshua 1:9 he commanded: 

"Have I not commanded you? 

Be strong and courageous. 

Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, 

for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

There were so many unknowns for us at that time:

Would our baby survive the pregnancy? 

Would he survive the birth? 

Would he survive the surgeries? 

How would we make it work, financially? 

Where would we live? 

How would we manage a sick baby along with 2 other children?

But that verse kept coming to us. And we chose to trust, 

not knowing what God would do or how he would make it all work.  

God delivered our family through Joshua's life. 

God saved my life through Joshua's brother Caleb, and sister Hannah. 

And later, he brought healing to my life through Luke. 

We didn't know at the time that Joshua's name would be so fitting.