Thursday, August 15, 2013

This Is What Grief Does

It causes me to walk around the house aimlessly trying to distract myself from the pain.

It makes me want to crawl in a hole and die.

It makes me withdraw from people and social situations.

It makes me break down in sobs any time anyone asks how I'm doing.

It makes me self centered.

It makes me impatient and grouchy.

It makes me cry at the drop of a hat.

It makes me angry at others who try to compare their losses and struggles.

It makes me depend on my husband to do everything and carry the weight of our family.

It makes me neglect my chores around the house.

It makes me feel like a failure as a wife and a mother.

It makes me remember and flashback to moments of Joshua's life.

It makes me write.

It makes me continue to come to God and do nothing but weep at his feet.


I'm not feeling much these days except for sadness. I'm not fighting God or questioning him like I have before. I'm trusting in His goodness. But, I'm sad. Extremely sad.


4 comments:

Peggy McPeggy said...

Dearest Jill,
I hear you...and I remember Joshua. Such a handsome little man. Praying for you today, as I do most days. I love you, my friend.

May the God Almighty reach down with tenderness, and give you some peace today.

Tammie Lewis said...

Hugging you today and sending prayers your way!

Em said...

I get this post. Feeling sad with you.

Auntie M said...

I love you, my sweet friend...And I hear you and honor how your feel...
Remember: while you may feel alone, you are not alone in this, but surrounded by those who love you. We may not have lived through what you have, but we are more than willing to walk through it with you.

 
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