Friday, October 12, 2012

At the Request of My Grandma

My grandma is probably one of my most faithful blog readers I have. Therefore, you can thank her for this post! She has been bugging my aunt about me not blogging and I got a call from my aunt begging me to update so my grandma would shut up about it! LOL! :o)

Life has been busy.

We have settled into a new groove in our new home. Shane and I still go to bed every night humbled (and in disbelief) and honored that we have such a beautiful house to call home. Every morning, I sit in the kitchen, cup of coffee in hand, and watch the sun rise over the empty field behind our house. I watch the ducks and geese splash in the pond. I can't help but thank God every morning for His blessings.

Lukey is now 11 months old and has started walking pretty much over night. He still prefers crawling over walking, but he's trying his darndest to get the walking stuff under control. It's so cute when babies learn to walk- it's like they are miniature zombies- arms in front, legs stiff, trying to maintain balance. He's such a cutie pie.

He's also started saying "Mama" and "All Done." We've started weaning due to excessive biting. I have tried everything over the past 6 weeks to get him to stop biting, but he doesn't seem to care. He and I have also shared a pretty bad case of thrush back and forth which has made my supply dip drastically. So far, the medication has helped clear up the thrush, but it's been rough maintaining my supply. For right now, I am nursing for the morning feeding and the night feeding. On occasion, I will nurse him at nap time too, but not always.

This past Saturday, October 6th, was Joshua's 2nd anniversary in Heaven. By God's grace, I didn't feel the need to blog about it. Writing has always been such a good way for me to work through my emotions, but this year, I didn't feel the need to. I was able to cry about it, but I wasn't consumed with it. God truly has healed me from the heavy burden of grief and anxiety. That's not to say I don't still feel that grief, but it's not nearly as overwhelming and exhausting as it once was. God is so incredibly good.

As I rocked Lukey to sleep on Saturday night, I was reminded of how different life is for us now. We have a new baby, a new home, Caleb is at a new school, Shane is at a different job than he was, and I'm a stay at home mom. 2 years ago our lives were complete and utter chaos. We were completely broke (on the verge of bankruptcy), preparing for a critically ill child to arrive. Everything about our lives was in turmoil. Now, here we are, on the flip side of that chaos- we are resting in God's goodness and grace. We still have our ups and downs, but God is carrying us through and providing for our every need. It's such an amazing testimony to God's faithfulness.

Other than that, life is the moving forward. Grief still ebbs and flows, but it's not overwhelming and paralyzing. It's a good feeling to just be living again. :o)


Mellow said...

Amen. Praise God for that!

Jessica said...

Thank you for the update. I am glad that God is healing your heart and that you are enjoying life. Blessings to you and your beautiful family. Thank you so much for blogging. you are a true encouragement to me.

Anonymous said...

Jill, is it your mom's mom, or your dad's mom?

I feel the same way about my life. When my ex and I were married, life was really bad for me. Next month, it will be three years that he kicked me out of the house. I think about my life then and my life now, and think what a 180 for the better. I still don't like to celebrate Thanksgiving, though, because he threw me out two days before, on a Tuesday. I am hoping I have a change of heart this year, because I have a lot to be grateful for.

So do you my friend!

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

My mom's mom. I didn't know until recently that she is a very faithful blog reader! :o)

I'm glad your life has changed as well. It's incredible to see what a difference a few years would make. Did you ever feel, while in the midst of the chaos, that it would never end? I know I sure did!

Anonymous said...

I did have that feeling, but it was kind of short lived for me, thank God. I am glad you are doing better.

Heather said...

So very thankful to read this entry today!! I am so incredibly happy for you and your family. GOD IS GREAT!!!

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