Thinking about those sweet little snuggles.
Looking at those bright and wise eyes.
Remembering those grumpy little growls.
Feeling that sweaty little head.
Laughing at your funny little chicken legs.
Praying over your broken little heart.
Hoping for your life.
Letting go when the time was right.
Allowing the tears to come.
Being gentle with myself when the pain is too much.
Desperately wanting others to remember you.
Joshua, I miss you.
My heart cries out for you.
Mother's day isn't complete without you here.
Your absence is more than I can bare.
So, I cry. I wail. I hide.
But when I come out, I put on my happy face and remember you for what you are.
You are my child. I am your mother.
Just in a different way.
Sweet Joshua, I love you.
1 comment:
Oh sweet little mama! How brave you are!!! Wishing you a Mother's Day of peace & joy knowing you are surrounded by the love of ALL your children...those you hold in your arms and the one you hold in your heart.
Until you posted those baby pictures of Hannah, I never realized how much Hannah and Joshua looked alike as babies! She will be your way of "seeing him through a mirror distantly" until that day you are able to hold him again.
Love and prayers for you today (and everyday)
~Mary
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