Monday, June 27, 2011

HELP!!!!

Confession Time: I have been failing miserably as a mother for the past few days.

My patience is non-existent. The kids are constantly fighting each other. The tone that I have caught myself using with them has been less than kind.

It seems that Caleb is constantly and purposly picking fights with Hannah. She is always whining, and he is always doing something to push her buttons that causes her to whine.

I'm losing my steam (my patience was lost a few days ago!). I need your help. (I've had time away from them over the weekend when they spent the night at their grandparents house.)

What do you do to stop sibling fighting?

How do you teach your child that when the other child says "NO" or "STOP" that that means NO and STOP?

How do you teach them to work out their differences without having to constantly be the referee??

Give me your advice, what works for you, what doesn't work for you. I wanna hear it all!

(part of me wonders if they are just bored, but I'm not quite sure what else to do with them.)

8 comments:

The Price Family! said...

I think you have moved into my house!! Im really begining to think that it has something to do with being out of routine in the summer. I have read three other post similar to this one and I am experiencing it as well!

Amanda said...

I LOVE the book "Parenting With Love and Logic". It's all about finding consequences that fit the crime and aren't just arbitrary "take a time out". It has a quick index in the back where you can look up the problem and read a page of advice. It's also from a Christian perspective which you might appreciate.

Also, in those times where I think I'm going to lose it I announce that I need a time out and lock myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes.

So sorry! Hang in there.

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

Amanda- I love the time out for mom...however, I think I may end up in "time out" all day!!!! :o)

Someone on facebook just suggested "Parenting with Love and Logic" as well. I will definitely check it out!

baby foot fluff said...

When my kids start fighting I know they are bored and need a diversion. I get them to the sandbox QUICK!!! I also made a playlist of kid videos on youtube that will capture their attention for a bit.

giftsofjoy said...

First off, if you are worried about failing as a mom - you are not. Second, I have an only child but have several siblings of my own. My only child has a cousin that is an only child and they fight like that everytime they are in town. One day, I was at wits end and told them I was closing the bedroom door and they could not come out until they learned to play with each other. 20 minutes later...all was right and they were actually laughing and playing! Oh, and mommy time outs are a blessing! Sometimes it is our attitude, not theirs that needs adjusting! :) I hope you find something that works for you and your family!

amy gleason said...

Jill! I hear you! It's not even July & I caught myself thinking about back-to-school earlier today!I have an almost 7yo daughter & a 4yo son who push one anothers buttons all the time!!! I grew up as an only child & seeing them bicker & pick on one another is crazy to me!
I feel like I spend all my energy planning fun things to do to keep them entertained but it's never enough! Someone's always getting on the someone else's nerves! And, heck, I only have 2 kiddos!
I, too, learned a lot from the Love & Logic methods, but found it difficult to always remember to apply the principals, especially when I had little patience & logic left! (my own fault for certain, not the method!)
Sometimes I tell them that unless they can come to an agreement or a compromise, we aren't going to do X; go to the park, go swimming, visit the zoo...even have a play date or a jammie day!!!

And, I admit, to putting myself in time-out several times a day. :) good luck!

Stephanie said...

My oldest fight with one another.constantly. So looks like I need advice too ;) letting them work it out between them didn't work bc one always wants to be the "winner"m

Ausmerican Housewife said...

I'm not sure what my folks did to get us 4 to stop fighting.... I don't remember!

But I tell you, after working during school vacations (being surrounded by kids that really didn't want to be at ikea any longer) I now understand why my mom locked the doors and said "Go OUTSIDE and play! Unless there is blood and bone showing, go away until I call you in!" ;) Not that I'd ever do that with my kids mind you. ;) ;) ;)

 
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