Dear Little One,

Where to start?

Tomorrow we get to take a peek at you. We will get to see you on that big television screen, and see your heart beating away.

Tomorrow we will get to find out if you are a Sara Joy or a Benjamin Lewis (well, I'm still convincing your daddy that Benji is the best name for you!). Tomorrow is the day!

I'm so excited to see you. The last time I saw you, you were completely healthy, squirming around, and tugging on your cord. The moment I saw you, my heart was overtaken with gratitude. The miracle of your life was overwhelming. You are a gift. A gift from Above and a gift from Joshua.

I can't get over the feeling that something isn't quite right with you though. I don't know if it's the fear of the unknown or if my mommy's instinct is telling me to be prepared for another storm. I'm praying that it's just the irrational fear that has come with losing my ignorance to what can go wrong during pregnancy.

But I want you to know something, my precious little one. No matter what, you are ours. You are adored, and you are loved beyond all measure. Your little life has brought life back to me when I thought there was none. You brought back joy to my life when I didn't ever think I would experience joy again.

You will never be a replacement for your brother. Nothing could ever replace him. But your life has brought healing to my heart and soul and for that I am forever grateful. You are our blessing in the middle of our storm.

Sweet little one, I love you. I cannot wait to hear the doctors say that you are healthy and that your heart is whole. I cannot wait to see you squirming on that monitor as I fight back the tears. (although, I may not fight back those tears this time!)

I love you sweet little one!

Love,

Your Mama