Sunday, October 10, 2010

Trust Me- A Guest Post

Hi. My name is Molly and this weekend I introduced myself to all of Jill’s extended family and far away friends as her pastor’s wife…..but that is not really who I am. I am Jill’s friend, or better yet she is mine. As a pastor’s wife, sometimes we are guarded and unsure of making deep connections within the church, but somehow Jill weaseled her way in. She has proven to be a faithful friend and I love her. As painful as the last few months have been, I am so thankful that Jill has allowed me to walk so closely with her family through it all. Shane has been a champion and let me be a part of the birth of Joshua and extended a gracious invitation to be with them on the day God took Joshua home. Shane and Jill are suffering and feeling sorrow like never before, but they will continue to trust God and His plan for their family.

Jill and I have had many conversations about you….her blog friends. I really don’t know how she would have survived the last few months without your prayers and encouragement. I know Jill has offered word of thanks, but I would also like to say a huge THANK YOU. It has been amazing to see the impact, first hand, that you have had on her life.

Through all of this, especially the last few weeks, one area that I have been gently pushing Jill on is her pride. Now that may seem harsh, but I have read your comments and the reality is that people want to help lightened her load. Jill doesn’t know how to respond when someone offers to help, she either says “we are fine” or just doesn’t respond. I am trying to convince her that those who are offering really want to help. Our church community has been blessed as we have been able serve the Haskins and I want others who have been moved by Joshua’s story and have a deep desire to help at least be offered the opportunity.

I am proud of Jill (for soooo many reasons). She is making progress and laying some of her pride aside. We have talked about their needs and allowing others to help. Obviously she has given me permission to post. I simply asked her to just trust me…..and she did.

If you are curious as to ways you can help, please email me at A PayPal account has been set up for the family if you would like to give a monetary donation. (just simply click on the donate button to the right of this post)

Thank you so much for loving the Haskins and being a part of Joshua’s story of faith and hope.



Heather C said...

Oh I'm a redhead too and I know of this pride :) maybe it's unique to redheads. Or maybe to moms. I'm not sure. But I am so glad she is surrounded by loving, amazing people and even more glad that she knows she's a child of the King.

The Cox Family said...

Great post Molly, thank you. Thank you Jill for letting go and letting people help. I know it is one of the hardest things to do. Love ya!

Stephanie, Daughter of the Risen King said...

It's about time... she wouldn't let me do so much as buy a gas card for her as many times as I offered. Thank you Molly! (( I pay for my red hair but I too know this pride.))

Anonymous said...

This post has brought me to tears I myself am unemployed but am moved to donate to Joshua's family!! Please Jill know the impact of your beautiful words and strong faith! This post was beautiful

Stephanie, Daughter of the Risen King said...

Psalm 47:6
Sing praises to God, sing praises;
sing praises to our King, sing praises.

Joni said...

Thanks! I am a friend of Molly's and have been following Joshua's story from before he was born. I wanted to help, but I live in Oklahoma...anyways, thanks! Still many prayers for your family and friends.

Lisa said...

Thank you Molly. When you are the one putting everything you have into being strong for the rest of your family, it is hard to let go and accept the help that is being offered. Jill and her family are blessed to have someone like you in their lives.

Christine said...

I know it is hard, but thank you for letting us help! *hug*

Anonymous said...

I clearly remember the first time someone offered to help our family in a monetary way. I was mortified. We just did not DO that - take from others. We were not THAT family...the one that would have a benefit thrown for them. I remember exactly the words I used to turn down the money. "We are fine. We have insurance and are doing ok"

Then we received the first of many many many packets in the mail. It was my weekend to be home with our son while my husband stayed by our daughter's side in the CVICU. Let me just say that even if you have insurance - and a good one at that - most insurance companies have a " lifetime cap" Do you know how QUICKLY a baby born with a CHD can hit that cap? One open heart surgery, two heart caths, more echo's than I can count (every time we have a "heart dr appt" we get one of those) more lab work than I have ever had in my life (and I am a diabetic), two seizures and the dr appts that brings, a g-tube, therapists visits, and a label of failure to thrive because we only weigh 23 lbs and are 2 1/2 years old - add all that up and pretty soon you are talking real money here. We surpassed the "life time cap" oh many many many months ago.

I still remember how humiliated I was when we applied for SSI for our daughter and found out that medicaid was a automatic assumption. I cried tears of shame when I handed over that card for the very first time.

I am SO over that crap. Let me tell you something Jill, if someone offered me a $10 gas card I would take it in a heartbeat. Every little bit helps. Every.Single.Dollar. It is not for me - it is for my daughter. Every time I look into her eyes my heart expands a little bit more. I never knew I could love like this.

People offer to help in many different ways because they care for you. Let them. There is no shame in it. NONE.

Shannon Egan

ArizonaIntactivist said...

Thank you, Molly!

Amy said...

Thank you, Molly!! I was unable to get a card/check in the mail before the funeral and I was planning to contact the funeral home this week to see if they were still accepting donations. But I'll do Paypal. I believe God calls His people to step up in many, many ways when things like this happen. This is just one way He is so faithful when we're on our knees in grief. And I'm happy that Jill is allowing God to fully do His work, by accepting that people are being called to help, not only financially, but I'm confident that she's being offered other types of help too.

I hope & pray that Jill & Shane receive the financial resources necessary to cover whatever expenses they have incurred. I know it doesn't make them whole, but it certainly takes the edge off.

And as always, my constant prayers are with them.

The Hoitsma's said...

What a wonderful post, Molly!

Paula said...

I am so very sorry about the loss of your son, Joshua. I too am a heart mom. My Jackson was born with HLHS, and just had his 3rd surgery about 6 weeks ago. These little guys are a true miracle. My heart and prayers are with you as you endure each day.
Paula Leflar
carepage: babyleflar2007

Annie said...

I am so proud of you Jill, it is easier to give than to take, be strong, allow others to bless you as you have blessed us!

Joe Reinheimer said...

I only came across your blog yesterday via The Hammitt's page for baby Bowen. First off, I am so sorry for you loss and you and your family are in my prayers daily. Secondly, your faith is truly an inspiration that has helped deepen my own personal relationship with Christ even for only have been following your blog for a day. Again, I will continue to pray that God will raise the road up to meet your needs and provide you the peace that passes all understanding.

In Him,


Hazel Nut said...

This is so sweet Molly.

Jill, when my son was born with a CHD, I had a terrible time accepting help. It was really strange to open the door to a stranger holding dinner or open the mail to find a gas card to help us visit our son. After a few weeks, I realized what a huge help it was and now I give back by helping other families locally and online. It is in my heart.

Now you need to take care of you and let others help you do that. It is amazing how good it feels to let pride go. Let others be strong for you so you don't have to.

Thinking of you and your family so much!

Anonymous said...

Jill, just saw your twitter posts. If packing up Joshua's things is too much for you to do right now - can it wait? I hate to tell others how they should grieve as it is such a personal thing. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you start down this new path. I can't say I know how you are feeling because I dont. I just know that my heart aches for you, Shane and your children.

Shannon Egan

StrongRedheadedCherokeeMama said...

SOMEONE should buy this mother a massage. Her body is probably holding on to so much physical wrenching pain. I would do it if I had the money!! Blessings All

Katie Columbia said...

We, too, did not like to accept any type of monetary help after Isaiah was born until he was in the hospital for 3 weeks and we ran out of cash to pay for gas so I could go back and forth to the hospital and be with him and still be w/our 2 girls at home. Then one night after getting home from the hospital (Isaiah was still in the CICU), we had a visit from a friend whose church had taken up donations for us. God knew when we needed the help the most and sent them to provide us the means to still make the trip every day (my husband had to go back to work, I have a daycare in our home so I was out of work at the time)!

Then, after getting home from the hospital, our church family took up donations and we were able to pay our bills for the next month.

We, too, had a hard time w/it but we realized that they really wanted to do it for us and that it was for Isaiah's sake. That is why we started God's Special Little Hearts, a non-profit org. set up to help CHD families while they are in the hospital w/their child( We really wanted to help families such as ours that need it the most during the most difficult time of their lives.

We would like to send you a grief package if and when you are ready for it. If you are interested, please send me your address by e-mail ( and I will get it in the mail.

Our prayers are with you and your family as you try to muddle through the next hours, days, weeks, months, etc. without precious Joshua.

Katie Columbia, Chairperson
God's Special Little Hearts, Inc.
carepage: IsaiahColumbia (HLHS,DORV,Post Glenn twice after failed Fontan-July'08)

"My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." ~ Psalm 73:26 (NIV)

Lindsay Partridge said...

Thank you so much for this post, Molly! I have felt so helpless in how to really reach out to Jill and offer her support, and this is something tangible. I now feel like I actually "did" something, as small as it is.

2 Corinthians 9:7

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

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