Joshua is struggling

I woke up at 4 to pump. I had a nagging feeling that Joshua was struggling. Against everything that I felt, I convinced myself that I was just stressed out about the kids and Shane being here and that I needed to go back to sleep. I should have called.

Joshua has been breathing extremely hard and fast again. He's dusky, not eating well, his blood gases showed that he's acidotic again, and his O2 sats are extremely high....like at 100%. (for anyone else, that is good, for him it's extremely dangerous.) His stomach risidual is also discolored.

They have stopped feedings, started milrinone (blood pressure medication) again, and now we just have to wait.

He looks dusky to me. He's not acting normal.

I'm waiting for the cardiologist to come see us. Trying not to flash back to monday morning. I'm trying to proclaim God's promises out loud over Joshua.

I will update more later.