It's just so much.

I've not been sleeping well. Mostly due to the missing shot records and GPS, somehwat due to having to pee every 2 hours, and partly becuase of the fact that I feel like my groin and lower abdomen are being ripped apart everytime I attempt to turn over. No matter the reason, the lack of sleep is starting to get to me. It's bringing out the worry, the frustration, and the sense of being overwhelmed.

There is so much to do before we have this baby, and I am at the point in my pregnancy where I get tired extremely easily. Every joint in my body aches, and it's hard to move. Every time I sit down, I have to get up because one of the kids needs something. I feel like I never get a break. I'm constantly tired, and I'm ready for the next chapter of this journey to begin.

I don't know what my delay has been, but I have not done a single thing to prepare for Joshua's arrival. I'm not necessarily in denial about his upcoming birth, I've just been so busy, time has gotten away from me. Just today I realized that I need to get a dresser for all of his stuff. Right now all of his clothes are under his crib in a tub (which we never took down from when Hannah was still using it- it still has her sheets on it.) I called my mom to ask if she had an extra dresser that we could use and she does, problem is, is that it needs painted. One more project to add to my list of things to do. :o( I also haven't even thought about getting carseats and all of my baby gear back from my sister in law. She is supposed to bring most of it back this weekend, but I haven't cleared room for any of it. Quite honestly, I just don't have the energy to do it all.

I also need to get the house that we are landlording for cleaned. We are landlording for my friends that moved to Sengal and their house needs to be vacuumed, dusted, and cleaned. Once again, vacuuming is not the easiest thing for me at this point. Neither is cleaning showers, and scrubbing floors. It's hard enough keeping my house clean, but then making time to get another house ready to be rented out takes a lot more energy than I anticipated.

Then there is the stress from Shane's job- I don't want to say too much about this one, but I'm not sure how all of this is going to work out with Shane working and taking care of the kids. They aren't being the most flexible and understanding about everything. Just another added stress that we really don't need.

There are so many final details that we need to figure out before Joshua arrives. Some minor, some major. It's all just so overwhelming and tiring. I'm quickly losing energy, and trying to give it all to God to work out, but sometimes that easier said than done- especially when running on little sleep.

These next 5 weeks are going to be some of the longest weeks of my life, yet they are also going to fly by. There is just so much that goes along with the waiting, preparing, and surrendering. I'm just ready for the next chapter of our journey to begin.