Tuesday, July 6, 2010

It's all about the legalities. Today marks 6 beautiful years. Legally!

Shane and I were married 2 times. Once legally, and once in the church. (No we didn't elope and not tell anyone.) Here is the story of our 2 weddings.

Shane and I started dating when I was a senior in high school (in 2002.) We spent the summer together, and then I started my freshman year at Huntington University- 3 hours away. We decided to try the long distance relationship thing, and it was hard, but it worked. Sorta.

Over Christmas of my freshman year, on my birthday to be exact, Shane broke up with me. I had to go through finals week at school trying to keep it together until I could get home to beg him to take me back. (pathetic, I know.) Over Christmas break, we were able to talk, and we decided to try it again.

I came back home after my freshman year and decided not to attend HU again. (I lost some scholarship money and couldn't afford it.) I decided to go to the community college that was literally right across the street from Shane's house. This gave Shane and me plenty of time together to figure out our future. At that point, I already knew that I was going to marry him, and I think he felt the same way. We carried on our relationship that way until May of 2003.

That May, Shane proposed to me. That story is a long one, but funny. Let's just say it was at a Karaoke type coffee shop, involved an awful song, and I just had my 4 wisdom teeth pulled out the day before. haha!

We were engaged for just about a year and a half. We had set the date for July 31, 2004. As that date got closer and closer, Shane's military unit was talking about being deployed to Iraq. At the end of June 2004, we found out that at his unit's next Annual Training, they were going to be filling out all of the paperwork for his deployment. We couldn't put my name on any of the paperwork because I was not his legal wife.

That's when we started talking about getting married legally a bit earlier than our set wedding date, so I could be his wife on the paperwork and not have to change all of the paperwork in a few months to correct it all after our wedding. We talked with the pastor who was going to marry us, and we got both sets of parents blessings.

On July 6th, 2004 we were legally married in our pastor's living room. I wore the ever so classy tank top and jean shorts, and Shane was in his Menard's work uniform. We were witnessed by the pastor's wife and their daughter who was playing with barbies on the floor next to us.

That is the greatest legal day in my life and it just so happens to be exactly 6 years ago today! Happy 6 legal years Shane. I love you.

(don't worry, there will be a big mushy happy anniversary post on our actual anniversary....I just thought it would be fun to relive this day!)


Amy said...

What an awesome story!! I have a friend who did something similar (got married quickly for military reasons, then had a "real" ceremony when he returned from Iraq). I think it's romantic. Dan & I had a 3-week engagement because we suddenly decided it sounded fun to get married on Halloween, which happened to be three weeks away. Man! You should've heard the rumors (Hmmm... why are they getting married so suddenly?!?! -- yeah, our first child wasn't born till almost four years later, LOL!) Can't wait to hear about your other ceremony :-)

The Cox Family said...

That's cool! So did you guys wait to live as man and wife? Just curious how the time between went!

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

Yup. we waited for everything. Although it was tempting (and the pastor gave his blessing to "be man and wife!") LOL!! ;o)

Jen said...

I just wanted to introduce myself. I found you from Aly's blog. I am a fellow heart mom. My son has Tetralogy of Fallot and has had two open heart surgeries. He is now 3 and doing great! I just wanted to offer encouragement. I read back through some of your posts and your feelings. I remember feeling very alone when I was pregnant (we found out about his heart at 20wks)- I knew no other heart moms and had no idea what to expect. I'm so glad there's so much support out there in the blog world now! Anyway, I just wanted you to know I signed up to follow you and will add baby Joshua to my prayers.


Stefenie said...

I loved reading the story on how you and your husband got married. I come from a military family so I totally understand on why you would want to rush the wedding date.

Funny how the unplanned things in life can provide the best memories. Although it might not have seemed like the ideal wedding at the time I am sure it will be one that will hold the most meaning for you for a long time. Happy Anniversary!

HennHouse said...

I love it!!

I found you through the Team Ewan blog, and was drawn to your blog because I have my own redhead.. and she is how you describe yourself... Do you mind if I add you to the blogroll on my page?

(from the HennHouse)

Ausmerican Housewife said...

Oh that's a lovely story!

Little Miss Emmy Lou said...

What a neat story!!

Anonymous said...

Jill, the imagery of the jean shorts, menards uniform and the barbies while saying your "I Do's" totally cracked me up!

Then I sort of felt guilty for laughing in the wake of everything that has happened to you and your family. I have spent so much time over the last few months praying for your family; your healing and comfort; for those around you to bring you peace...everything so serious! So laughing just felt wrong.

I decided to tell you this because I am so thankful that you linked this page to your post. Because it IS funny. And because it IS ok to laugh!

You are such a strong woman. And its great that you are allowing all of what has happened to be part of who you are, but not to define you.

I'm sure you know the number of women out there that would have rather filled out paperwork later than get married in a pair of shorts next to the barbie dreamhouse. ...a lot of women may have done what you did but never shared it!

I think when trying to figure out how to define yourself, you shouldn't leave this part out: you are the kind of person who has their priorities in order. You also have an amazing sense of humour and you can laugh at yourself. And I truly believe that you make the kind of role-medel Hannah will realize she is so lucky to have once she is out of her teen years!!

As always, you are in my prayers! Thanks for the laugh!

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

Diana- Don't ever feel guilty for laughing. We have had so much bad happen to us over the lifetime of our marriage...big stuff...and we have to laugh at it!

Something that I'm finding with my grief journey is that it is ok to laugh without feeling guilty. I've been trying to get some of my "voice" back in my writing. Some of the sarcasm and humor that I miss. I will get there- it's just taking some time to get there.

Life goes on. Joshua doesn't want a mommy who is going to be consumed by his death. he wants a mommy who will find joy in his life!

I'm glad to make you laugh! I did too when I re-read this! :o)

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