I'm always amazed at the hold that grief has on me sometimes.
It feels like some days, I'm constantly struggling to remember what was lost, but also remember the blessings of the present.
Today is one of those days. One of the many days that I am constantly fighting the tears and looking for reasons to laugh. It's one of those days, that when I catch myself laughing, it feels SO good, but then it's almost immediately taken over by some sort of sadness. Not necessarily the paralyzing sadness that knocks me to my knees in grief but rather a bittersweet sadness that brings the smallest tear to my eye and causes me to take a moment and remember what was lost and how painful the journey has been.
As I'm packing up the last few odds and ends of our house, I remembering everything that these walls hold. Joy, hope for the future, ignorance of what could truly be, family, love, and hard work. All of these things are wrapped into this house that we have made our home for the last 6 years.
We've brought 3 of our children home to this house. 2 of them have grown and learned here. 1 of them came for a brief time after he was already gone. Bringing him home wasn't for him, it was for us- for our children. Life has been created here- 4 times. Life that was made out of a love so powerful that we have survived the darkest days of our lives.
This was the first home Shane and I bought as a married couple. There have been many struggles within these walls, but there have been even more triumphs.These walls have heard our wails and our mourning. They have heard our shouts of joy in the discovery of new life growing inside. These walls have been our refuge in our darkest moments- when we wanted the outside world to completely disappear.
And now we are leaving. It's time to leave, but it's bittersweet. This house is literally falling apart as we speak. The foundation is slowly crumbling and the walls seep water. It's time that we leave this place and start over. It's time that we start building memories in a new place that will be big enough for our growing family. It's time to live in a home much nicer and much cheaper than this. But it hurts. The memories, the hard work, the feeling of security within these walls.
I'm looking forward to the future. I'm looking forward to a fresh start. I'm looking forward to creating new memories and a sense of security. But my feelings of excitement are being pulled away by that small sense of sadness of everything lost.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Baby Update
I wanted to give you all a quick Rainbow update!
I went to my regularly scheduled OB appointment this last Wednesday.
We are making progress!
I'm currently 16 weeks and some odd days. (got to hear that beautiful heartbeat again!)
On June 15th, we will head down to Indianapolis for a level 2 ultrasound with Maternal Fetal Medicine.
This trip will be extremely bittersweet. It is with the same group of doctors at the same hospital that Joshua's heart was diagnosed, the same hospital he was born, and the hospital where he died.
We had a choice between a doctor in Fort Wayne or going down to Indianapolis, but we chose to drive the extra distance to the same doctors who were there with us through the most difficult time in our lives. We trust them and we know their care will be fabulous!
Approximately, 4 weeks after our level 2 ultrasound we will go for an echo on baby's heart.
We are super excited to get a sneak peek at our little Rainbow. I can't wait to hear that they see all 4 chambers of that beautiful heart. I am trusting that they will find absolutely nothing wrong with this baby, and that we will be able to answer a big fat YES to Caleb and Hannah's questions of "Do we get to keep this baby?"
I went to my regularly scheduled OB appointment this last Wednesday.
We are making progress!
I'm currently 16 weeks and some odd days. (got to hear that beautiful heartbeat again!)
On June 15th, we will head down to Indianapolis for a level 2 ultrasound with Maternal Fetal Medicine.
This trip will be extremely bittersweet. It is with the same group of doctors at the same hospital that Joshua's heart was diagnosed, the same hospital he was born, and the hospital where he died.
We had a choice between a doctor in Fort Wayne or going down to Indianapolis, but we chose to drive the extra distance to the same doctors who were there with us through the most difficult time in our lives. We trust them and we know their care will be fabulous!
Approximately, 4 weeks after our level 2 ultrasound we will go for an echo on baby's heart.
We are super excited to get a sneak peek at our little Rainbow. I can't wait to hear that they see all 4 chambers of that beautiful heart. I am trusting that they will find absolutely nothing wrong with this baby, and that we will be able to answer a big fat YES to Caleb and Hannah's questions of "Do we get to keep this baby?"
Friday, May 27, 2011
Almost Moving Day
It's almost moving day.
6 days to be exact!
Here are some sure signs that it's getting close!
Our dining room is PACKED with boxes, and will be even more full in the next few days. |
This is the part that makes me really sad to leave this house. The kids and I love this yard. It's not the same when it's not littered with toys and play equipment. SAD DAY! |
I love making lists!!!
I may or may not be the type to add things to my lists to just cross them off...
My brother in law and mother in law both get their own list for this weekend!
I'm sure they love me dearly for it!
Wednesday cannot come fast enough!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Storms, Tornados, Hail, Floods
Unless you live under a rock, I know that you have heard about all of the devastating weather that has hit the Midwest.
I have friends in both Joplin and Oklahoma ("Home-la-mo-ma" as Caleb calls it!) that are thankfully safe. However, I know that the devastation down there is unbelievable. Please know that if you are in that area, that our family has been praying for your protection, your health, and your lives.
On a much smaller (and much less significant) scale, our area has been hit with some major rains, flooding, and very minimal tornadoes (in comparison to the ones that touched down in Joplin and Oklahoma.)
Since our house is over 150 years old with no basement, we have been spending a lot of time at my parents house (more specifically in my parents basement) riding out the storms. I know what a nervous wreck I've been over the past few days, praying for safety for my family and our city- I can only imagine how the people of Joplin and Oklahoma are feeling.
The flooding is unbelievable around town- especially the flash flooding.
I went home yesterday to check on a few things and realized that our back room/ laundry room was full of 3 inches of standing water. Our backyard slopes towards the house, and the water has pooled around the back room- it has seeped up through the tiles and come in under the back door of the house. I was able to move the boxes, that are already packed, out and let them dry, but it is quite a mess. (We've never had this much rain before, so this flooding stuff has never happened to our house before! yikes!)
I'm so thankful that our house will be sitting empty after we move out. I would be having a heart attack trying to clean that mess up for the next owners to move in....In a weird way, I'm thankful it will be thejerk's bank's problem rather than a new family's problem.
All I have to say is that June 1st cannot come quick enough! Get us out of there!!! :o)
I'm praying that you are all safe as we continue to be hit with storms. If you read here and live in the areas that have been devastated by the storms, please send me some info about where to donate or how to help, and I'll get it posted! Until then, know that our prayers are with you.
I have friends in both Joplin and Oklahoma ("Home-la-mo-ma" as Caleb calls it!) that are thankfully safe. However, I know that the devastation down there is unbelievable. Please know that if you are in that area, that our family has been praying for your protection, your health, and your lives.
On a much smaller (and much less significant) scale, our area has been hit with some major rains, flooding, and very minimal tornadoes (in comparison to the ones that touched down in Joplin and Oklahoma.)
Since our house is over 150 years old with no basement, we have been spending a lot of time at my parents house (more specifically in my parents basement) riding out the storms. I know what a nervous wreck I've been over the past few days, praying for safety for my family and our city- I can only imagine how the people of Joplin and Oklahoma are feeling.
The flooding is unbelievable around town- especially the flash flooding.
I went home yesterday to check on a few things and realized that our back room/ laundry room was full of 3 inches of standing water. Our backyard slopes towards the house, and the water has pooled around the back room- it has seeped up through the tiles and come in under the back door of the house. I was able to move the boxes, that are already packed, out and let them dry, but it is quite a mess. (We've never had this much rain before, so this flooding stuff has never happened to our house before! yikes!)
I'm so thankful that our house will be sitting empty after we move out. I would be having a heart attack trying to clean that mess up for the next owners to move in....In a weird way, I'm thankful it will be the
All I have to say is that June 1st cannot come quick enough! Get us out of there!!! :o)
I'm praying that you are all safe as we continue to be hit with storms. If you read here and live in the areas that have been devastated by the storms, please send me some info about where to donate or how to help, and I'll get it posted! Until then, know that our prayers are with you.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Juicy Cantalope and Robin's Egg Blue
I don't have a crafty bone in my body.
I'm typically the worst home decorator out of all of my friends.
I don't have much sense of style.
But I think these came out pretty darn well if I do say so myself!
End tables for our new living room!
Found them in my parent's garage and basement!
I was trying to lighten up the dark chocolate brown of our living room furniture!
Found them in my parent's garage and basement!
I was trying to lighten up the dark chocolate brown of our living room furniture!
Before |
After |
I would like to get new handles, but the spray painted ones work well for now! |
Caleb's old dresser that was in about the same shape
as the end tables before they were painted.
as the end tables before they were painted.
I wish I would have taken before pictures.
Caleb's new bed frame.
The kids used to be in bunk beds, but now they will have their own rooms.
The orange color of the dresser and bed frame
will go nicely with the superhero theme of his new room!
I cannot wait to move!!!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Not the Same
We have been on this journey with grief for almost a year and a half now.
The journey with Joshua started at 10 weeks pregnant with the words "I'm sorry, but you have miscarried your baby. We are going to get you in for an ultrasound and then will decide where to go from there."
The numbers from the lab work showed that I had in fact miscarried, the gushing blood was a sure sign, but the ultrasound showed a healthy, strong, and thriving baby growing inside. It also showed a Subchorionic Hemorrhage that was growing and threatening the life of my baby.
Then a few months later, we found out that our baby was in fact a Joshua (and not a Karen as Caleb was convinced we were going to name her) and that he had a very special, but very broken heart. We learned that our little one was going to be born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome and was going to require extensive medical care. Without- he had 0% chance of survival.
And then again, after that, we experienced grief in it's deepest and darkest form. We had to relearn how to live after Joshua went from my arms into the arms of our Creator.
Through all of those events, Shane and I found ourselves walking the journey of grief. We mourned the "should have beens" and how different things were. We tried to adjust to being on bedrest with 2 small children running around. We tried to plan our lives around a small hospital hotel room and between our home in Huntington and our new temporary home at a hospital 2 hours away. We quickly learned how to tell a 4 year old and a 2 year old that their baby brother was dead. We did the best that we could, all the while depending on friends and family to help out when we simply didn't have the energy to move forward.
And after a year and a half of dealing with grief in some form or another, I've realized just how different I truly am. You see, I've not only mourned the death of my child, but I've mourned the loss of who I once was.
I used to be a mother who had no desire to be a stay at home mom. I was a wife who put her own needs first constantly. I was a Christian who had all the right answers and a faith that came very easily- even when I thought it was hard. I was a proud 26/27 year old woman who knew the answers to everything and had no problem speaking my mind. I was a woman who freely trusted strangers with personal information and then quickly found out how truly evil and mean strangers can be. I was a girl who's first real experience with death was the death of her infant child taking his last breath in her arms.
But I am no longer that person. I am a mother who wants nothing more than to stay home with my children, help them learn, grow, and love The Lord. I am a wife who will put her family before anything else. I am a devoted follower of Christ, muddling my way through the tough questions of life, longing for the day that we will go Home to be with my Savior, trusting that God can handle my angry words and my sincere apologies for not trusting Him, and striving to live a life that is Christlike and pleasing to God. I am a woman who still speaks her mind, but with a different view on life- speaking from love rather than pride. I am a woman who still trusts, but is careful about who becomes involved in the intimate details of my life. I am a girl who has experienced death first hand- seeing the physical changes that happen immediately after a soul leaves a body and the devastation to those that are left behind- a devastation that others don't understand until they have walked in those shoes.
Some people simply don't understand that change in me. They knew the old me and don't understand how so much of my life and who I am has changed. Some people have embraced that change and have encouraged me to continue on this path of growing and learning. Others have sat by silently all the while not knowing what to say or do. And still, there are a few who have faithfully "gotten messy" with me on this journey with grief and are helping me to understand that it is OK to not be the same as I used to be.
But above all, God has remained faithful to me (even when I struggled with remaining faithful to Him). He has been with me through the refining fire and has continued to mold me into who He wants me to be. I'm not the same as I used to be, and quite honestly, I think that has been His intention all along.
The journey with Joshua started at 10 weeks pregnant with the words "I'm sorry, but you have miscarried your baby. We are going to get you in for an ultrasound and then will decide where to go from there."
The numbers from the lab work showed that I had in fact miscarried, the gushing blood was a sure sign, but the ultrasound showed a healthy, strong, and thriving baby growing inside. It also showed a Subchorionic Hemorrhage that was growing and threatening the life of my baby.
Then a few months later, we found out that our baby was in fact a Joshua (and not a Karen as Caleb was convinced we were going to name her) and that he had a very special, but very broken heart. We learned that our little one was going to be born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome and was going to require extensive medical care. Without- he had 0% chance of survival.
And then again, after that, we experienced grief in it's deepest and darkest form. We had to relearn how to live after Joshua went from my arms into the arms of our Creator.
Through all of those events, Shane and I found ourselves walking the journey of grief. We mourned the "should have beens" and how different things were. We tried to adjust to being on bedrest with 2 small children running around. We tried to plan our lives around a small hospital hotel room and between our home in Huntington and our new temporary home at a hospital 2 hours away. We quickly learned how to tell a 4 year old and a 2 year old that their baby brother was dead. We did the best that we could, all the while depending on friends and family to help out when we simply didn't have the energy to move forward.
And after a year and a half of dealing with grief in some form or another, I've realized just how different I truly am. You see, I've not only mourned the death of my child, but I've mourned the loss of who I once was.
I used to be a mother who had no desire to be a stay at home mom. I was a wife who put her own needs first constantly. I was a Christian who had all the right answers and a faith that came very easily- even when I thought it was hard. I was a proud 26/27 year old woman who knew the answers to everything and had no problem speaking my mind. I was a woman who freely trusted strangers with personal information and then quickly found out how truly evil and mean strangers can be. I was a girl who's first real experience with death was the death of her infant child taking his last breath in her arms.
But I am no longer that person. I am a mother who wants nothing more than to stay home with my children, help them learn, grow, and love The Lord. I am a wife who will put her family before anything else. I am a devoted follower of Christ, muddling my way through the tough questions of life, longing for the day that we will go Home to be with my Savior, trusting that God can handle my angry words and my sincere apologies for not trusting Him, and striving to live a life that is Christlike and pleasing to God. I am a woman who still speaks her mind, but with a different view on life- speaking from love rather than pride. I am a woman who still trusts, but is careful about who becomes involved in the intimate details of my life. I am a girl who has experienced death first hand- seeing the physical changes that happen immediately after a soul leaves a body and the devastation to those that are left behind- a devastation that others don't understand until they have walked in those shoes.
Some people simply don't understand that change in me. They knew the old me and don't understand how so much of my life and who I am has changed. Some people have embraced that change and have encouraged me to continue on this path of growing and learning. Others have sat by silently all the while not knowing what to say or do. And still, there are a few who have faithfully "gotten messy" with me on this journey with grief and are helping me to understand that it is OK to not be the same as I used to be.
But above all, God has remained faithful to me (even when I struggled with remaining faithful to Him). He has been with me through the refining fire and has continued to mold me into who He wants me to be. I'm not the same as I used to be, and quite honestly, I think that has been His intention all along.
Labels:
death,
fierce and fiesty,
God's Will,
grief,
healing,
Jill,
life
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Life Has to Go On
Today was such a good day for me.
Our family went to the Fort Wayne Children's Zoo.
We spent the day in the sunshine, watching the animals (and people!) and spending the day together as a family without any distractions. (I didn't even take my phone with me today!)
As the day went by, I noticed that I felt like something was missing. After sitting for a few minutes, I realized that I was simply missing Joshua.
As I sat next to Caleb on a short train ride around the zoo, listening to him giggle, and talk about his favorite animals, I couldn't help but think about what we are missing with Joshua. I wondered what his favorite animal would have been, what would make him giggle, what type of sandwich he would want me to pack for him for lunch.
As I sat thinking about those things, I looked at Caleb and I felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with love for the little boy sitting next to me- if it weren't for him and his sister, I'm not sure how I would be handling life. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of loss- missing the baby who entered into his eternal Home straight from my arms. I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace as I thought about how far I have come in my journey with grief.
I could have very easily let the tears overtake me. I could have broken down right then and there. But in that moment, Caleb, Hannah, and Shane were enjoying themselves, and I didn't want to impose my feelings on them. I didn't want to take away the joy of that train ride.
So I did the only thing I knew to do in that moment. I sucked back the tears, and I silently thanked God for the 51 days that we had with Joshua, I thanked Him for the 3 most precious people in my life who were sitting right next to me, and I thanked Him for the promise that I WILL see Joshua again.
As I tried to hold back the tears, I realized why I was struggling with letting the pain go and just trying to live life. I realized that life HAS TO go on. For the sake of my children and my husband, it has no other choice but to go on.
After Joshua died, I didn't want life to continue on. I got angry when I saw how "stupid" others Facebook posts were. I got frustrated when others complained about their children or their spouse. I wanted the world to stop and feel the pain that I felt- how could they not? (One thing I have learned about grief is that it is EXTREMELY selfish, and while that's OK for a while, it can't continue on forever.)
In those early days of grief, the tears came easily. They ruined perfectly good moments. They overtook conversations and created awkward situations. They caused my children to run to me saying "Mommy, it will be ok. I know you are sad and you miss Joshua. It will be ok."
But as time has moved on, the pain hasn't lessened, but it has changed. I am able to hold back the tears and allow others to just be in the moment without my pain overtaking the situation. I am able to accept the fact that life has and will continue to move forward, and I can either fight it or move with it.
In that moment with Caleb jabbering on and on about the animals, I was able to just let him enjoy that moment without drawing attention to my pain. I have realized that for as much as I don't want it to, life HAS TO go on- for the sake of those I love, for my sake, for Joshua's sake.
Life simply must go on.
Our family went to the Fort Wayne Children's Zoo.
We spent the day in the sunshine, watching the animals (and people!) and spending the day together as a family without any distractions. (I didn't even take my phone with me today!)
As the day went by, I noticed that I felt like something was missing. After sitting for a few minutes, I realized that I was simply missing Joshua.
As I sat next to Caleb on a short train ride around the zoo, listening to him giggle, and talk about his favorite animals, I couldn't help but think about what we are missing with Joshua. I wondered what his favorite animal would have been, what would make him giggle, what type of sandwich he would want me to pack for him for lunch.
As I sat thinking about those things, I looked at Caleb and I felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with love for the little boy sitting next to me- if it weren't for him and his sister, I'm not sure how I would be handling life. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of loss- missing the baby who entered into his eternal Home straight from my arms. I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace as I thought about how far I have come in my journey with grief.
I could have very easily let the tears overtake me. I could have broken down right then and there. But in that moment, Caleb, Hannah, and Shane were enjoying themselves, and I didn't want to impose my feelings on them. I didn't want to take away the joy of that train ride.
So I did the only thing I knew to do in that moment. I sucked back the tears, and I silently thanked God for the 51 days that we had with Joshua, I thanked Him for the 3 most precious people in my life who were sitting right next to me, and I thanked Him for the promise that I WILL see Joshua again.
As I tried to hold back the tears, I realized why I was struggling with letting the pain go and just trying to live life. I realized that life HAS TO go on. For the sake of my children and my husband, it has no other choice but to go on.
After Joshua died, I didn't want life to continue on. I got angry when I saw how "stupid" others Facebook posts were. I got frustrated when others complained about their children or their spouse. I wanted the world to stop and feel the pain that I felt- how could they not? (One thing I have learned about grief is that it is EXTREMELY selfish, and while that's OK for a while, it can't continue on forever.)
In those early days of grief, the tears came easily. They ruined perfectly good moments. They overtook conversations and created awkward situations. They caused my children to run to me saying "Mommy, it will be ok. I know you are sad and you miss Joshua. It will be ok."
But as time has moved on, the pain hasn't lessened, but it has changed. I am able to hold back the tears and allow others to just be in the moment without my pain overtaking the situation. I am able to accept the fact that life has and will continue to move forward, and I can either fight it or move with it.
In that moment with Caleb jabbering on and on about the animals, I was able to just let him enjoy that moment without drawing attention to my pain. I have realized that for as much as I don't want it to, life HAS TO go on- for the sake of those I love, for my sake, for Joshua's sake.
Life simply must go on.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Friday Fun Facts
Today, our little Promise is 15 weeks! In the next few weeks, we will know if we will be buying pink or blue!
I choked at the gas station this morning. Not because of the price of gas, or how much I spent. But because I swallowed a piece of my food the wrong way. I seriously thought I was going to have to ask the lady in the car next to me to do the Heimlich.
Speaking of gas.Hannah had a serious case of it yesterday. I think it's a bit sad that I am excited to pay $3.62/gallon. I was able to fill up my tank for $79! wooooo!!!!!!
I just spent $35 at the grocery store. I bought a pack of razors, a bottle of shaving cream, 2 pkgs of strawberries and blackberries, and toilet paper. Where does that money go?! yowzers!
Today is Caleb's last day of Preschool. I can't believe my first born will be in Kindergarten next year. Where has the time gone?!
Have you seen this website? If you are a pet lover, this is just for you. I may or may not think you are crazy though! Yup that's right. Pet care for after the rapture....you know...because those who are left behind won't have anything else to worry about.
We move in 12 days! EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Can't wait!!!
If you are thinking about buying a house, I would highly DISCOURAGE you from getting financed with Wells Fargo. They have been horribly difficult to work with. Let's just say they just threw away over 100 pages of documentation that they need for us to do a deed in lieu of foreclosure and closed our case. Now we have to start over from scratch. FAIL Wells Fargo...FAIL!
Hannah has been doing a fantastic job with her potty training!!!! woot woot!!!!
I'm not sure how much I will be around this next week. Packing (and quite possibly potty training) is taking highest priority!
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
I choked at the gas station this morning. Not because of the price of gas, or how much I spent. But because I swallowed a piece of my food the wrong way. I seriously thought I was going to have to ask the lady in the car next to me to do the Heimlich.
Speaking of gas.
I just spent $35 at the grocery store. I bought a pack of razors, a bottle of shaving cream, 2 pkgs of strawberries and blackberries, and toilet paper. Where does that money go?! yowzers!
Today is Caleb's last day of Preschool. I can't believe my first born will be in Kindergarten next year. Where has the time gone?!
Have you seen this website? If you are a pet lover, this is just for you. I may or may not think you are crazy though! Yup that's right. Pet care for after the rapture....you know...because those who are left behind won't have anything else to worry about.
We move in 12 days! EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Can't wait!!!
If you are thinking about buying a house, I would highly DISCOURAGE you from getting financed with Wells Fargo. They have been horribly difficult to work with. Let's just say they just threw away over 100 pages of documentation that they need for us to do a deed in lieu of foreclosure and closed our case. Now we have to start over from scratch. FAIL Wells Fargo...FAIL!
Hannah has been doing a fantastic job with her potty training!!!! woot woot!!!!
I'm not sure how much I will be around this next week. Packing (and quite possibly potty training) is taking highest priority!
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
ANNOYING!!!!
A few months ago, Shane and I took a quick day trip (about an hour there and an hour back.)
This is what I experienced for the entire trip.
Are you ready to stuff your ears with cotton balls yet?! I know I sure am!
This is what I experienced for the entire trip.
Yes, that is a tapping windshield wiper and a humming antenna.
Are you ready to stuff your ears with cotton balls yet?! I know I sure am!
4, 3, 2, ...
We've been telling Hannah that on her 3rd birthday "NO MORE DIAPERS!"
We said it over and over and over and told her only big girls go in the toilet. Little girls go in their diaper.
Well, she turned 3 last Friday.
Monday started the dreaded potty training.
My friend Nabrissa is in town from Africa. Before she left to go over there a year ago, she worked at a daycare here, in town. She has more experience with potty training then I do even though she has no kids.
She has been my partner in crime to get Hannah out of diapers and going on the toilet this week.
Monday, Hannah had 4 accidents. I was ready to give up but Nabrissa kept telling me it's ok and to give it more time.
Tuesday, she had 3.
Wedensday she had 2.
And today? She woke up with a dry diaper and went on the toilet immediately.
We've figured out her cues. We've rushed her to the toilet screaming "Hold it! Hold it! Don't go!!!!" a few more times then I like to admit. But she's doing it! FINALLY!
We'll see what today holds. I'm hopeful that she will get a hang of it before we move 2 weeks. I'm expecting some regression, but I'll take what I can get for now and worry about that if/when it comes!
4, 3, 2, ......what will today be?!
We said it over and over and over and told her only big girls go in the toilet. Little girls go in their diaper.
Well, she turned 3 last Friday.
Monday started the dreaded potty training.
My friend Nabrissa is in town from Africa. Before she left to go over there a year ago, she worked at a daycare here, in town. She has more experience with potty training then I do even though she has no kids.
She has been my partner in crime to get Hannah out of diapers and going on the toilet this week.
Monday, Hannah had 4 accidents. I was ready to give up but Nabrissa kept telling me it's ok and to give it more time.
Tuesday, she had 3.
Wedensday she had 2.
And today? She woke up with a dry diaper and went on the toilet immediately.
We've figured out her cues. We've rushed her to the toilet screaming "Hold it! Hold it! Don't go!!!!" a few more times then I like to admit. But she's doing it! FINALLY!
We'll see what today holds. I'm hopeful that she will get a hang of it before we move 2 weeks. I'm expecting some regression, but I'll take what I can get for now and worry about that if/when it comes!
4, 3, 2, ......what will today be?!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Joshua's Corner
Before Joshua ever came to be, our family struggled with our finances. Early on in our marriage, we didn't have enough money to go around which in turn racked up a lot of credit card debt. We also made some pretty stupid decisions regarding car purchases, as well my choice in a super expensive private college that really racked up the student loans.
Add a couple kids to the mix and a few periods of unemployment, and we really REALLY struggled.
Love In The Name of Christ is a National Christian based organization that readily meets the needs of the community. In our greatest time of need, they came along side us and helped when we needed it the most. They helped to provide food, assistance in getting our car repaired, and most importantly they prayed daily as a staff for Joshua from the time of his diagnosis to the time of his death (they faithfully checked my blog every morning for updates and prayed where it was needed!). Once he died, their prayers shifted to peace and comfort for our family.
They have been an amazing support for our family as we have finally gotten back on our feet and been able to be on the giving end of helping rather than the receiving end.
Recently Love, INC opened a thrift store in their Huntington building. It is a ministry that helps to clothe our community with free and/or inexpensive clothing to anyone who walks through their doors. Recently, I met with the intake coordinator, and she presented me with something that made me break down in tears.
This is Joshua's Corner.
Joshua's Corner is the infant and children's section of the thrift store. It was created in honor and in memory of our sweet Joshua and his precious life.
The coordinator explained that Joshua's life made an impact on the staff and volunteers of Love and they wanted him to be remembered. There was no better way than this to honor his life- by providing clothes and Christ's love to the many precious children of our community.
Yesterday was the official opening day of the thrift store and I was so excited to see how many people were there not only receiving quality clothes, but also hearing about and experiencing Christ's love. I'm so humbled and honored that Joshua's life will be a part of such an amazing ministry!
If you are in the Huntington area and want to be a part of this amazing ministry, there are several ways to get involved. Covered with Love accepts donations of gently used clothing and house hold items- they especially need children's clothing. They are also always looking for volunteers for their many ministries. You can find the Huntington Love, INC on Facebook right HERE and you can find the Covered With Love Facebook page right HERE!
Add a couple kids to the mix and a few periods of unemployment, and we really REALLY struggled.
Love In The Name of Christ is a National Christian based organization that readily meets the needs of the community. In our greatest time of need, they came along side us and helped when we needed it the most. They helped to provide food, assistance in getting our car repaired, and most importantly they prayed daily as a staff for Joshua from the time of his diagnosis to the time of his death (they faithfully checked my blog every morning for updates and prayed where it was needed!). Once he died, their prayers shifted to peace and comfort for our family.
They have been an amazing support for our family as we have finally gotten back on our feet and been able to be on the giving end of helping rather than the receiving end.
Recently Love, INC opened a thrift store in their Huntington building. It is a ministry that helps to clothe our community with free and/or inexpensive clothing to anyone who walks through their doors. Recently, I met with the intake coordinator, and she presented me with something that made me break down in tears.
This is Joshua's Corner.
Joshua's Corner is the infant and children's section of the thrift store. It was created in honor and in memory of our sweet Joshua and his precious life.
The coordinator explained that Joshua's life made an impact on the staff and volunteers of Love and they wanted him to be remembered. There was no better way than this to honor his life- by providing clothes and Christ's love to the many precious children of our community.
Yesterday was the official opening day of the thrift store and I was so excited to see how many people were there not only receiving quality clothes, but also hearing about and experiencing Christ's love. I'm so humbled and honored that Joshua's life will be a part of such an amazing ministry!
If you are in the Huntington area and want to be a part of this amazing ministry, there are several ways to get involved. Covered with Love accepts donations of gently used clothing and house hold items- they especially need children's clothing. They are also always looking for volunteers for their many ministries. You can find the Huntington Love, INC on Facebook right HERE and you can find the Covered With Love Facebook page right HERE!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Baby Dolls
This is Hannah.
She loves her babies, stuffed animals, and anything little that she can be a mommy to.
But these?
(if you don't know what you are looking at, look in the 2nd story window) |
Not so much.
Does looking at this give anyone else the heeby jeebies?!
Monday, May 16, 2011
9 Months
Can you believe that this baby would be 9 months old today?
I remember that moment so clearly.
If only we had known what was ahead.
We would have never let him out of our arms.
We would have never stopped kissing him.
We would have made sure to get a family picture.
I loved love him so very much.
Happy 9 months sweet Joshua.
I miss you so SO much.
Labels:
death,
God's Will,
Good Bye's,
grief,
Joshua,
Love,
pictures,
trust
Thursday, May 12, 2011
EEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was caught on my kitchen counter last night.
It's the 3rd of it's "kind" in the past 4 days.
I suppose we probably have a new pet for a while....
sorry for the poor quality. this was taken with my phone! |
Anyone want a new (animal and critter loving) husband?
I know this is nothing compared to some of you folks that live down south,
but for Indiana this is BIG!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Just Plain Tired
I'm sorry I've not written some of the posts that I've wanted to write. I promise I will get them written one of these days.
I've been super exhausted. I'm been struggling with my sore throat/lack of energy/lack of appetite for over 4 weeks now. It doesn't seem to be getting better. When I actually do feel somewhat better, it's just a matter of time before I'm knocked out again with a sore throat and swollen glands. Zofran has become, literally, my best friend as I am trying to keep my stomach calm enough to actually be able to function. I have never been this sick with a pregnancy before! Between the pregnancy sickness and the other stuff going on in my body, I'm not sure how I'm going to make it another 6 months!
I've also been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Of the 31 days in May, I have 18 of which are filled with things that need to be done. Birthday parties (my baby girl will be 3 this Friday....), making meals, taking my mom/kids to doctor's appointments, garage sale, preschool graduation, meetings, doctor's appointments for myself, packing, packing, and more packing.
(We also haven't been sleeping very well. We desperately need a new mattress, we just (selfishly) don't want to buy one! Those things are EXPENSIVE! ugh. thankfully we have the money to buy one- it's just hard to let that much cash slip through your hands!!!)
My days have been full- caring for small children and taking care of loose ends around the house. I just haven't found the inspiration (or time) for blogging. Plus, I'm just plain tired!
I've been super exhausted. I'm been struggling with my sore throat/lack of energy/lack of appetite for over 4 weeks now. It doesn't seem to be getting better. When I actually do feel somewhat better, it's just a matter of time before I'm knocked out again with a sore throat and swollen glands. Zofran has become, literally, my best friend as I am trying to keep my stomach calm enough to actually be able to function. I have never been this sick with a pregnancy before! Between the pregnancy sickness and the other stuff going on in my body, I'm not sure how I'm going to make it another 6 months!
I've also been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Of the 31 days in May, I have 18 of which are filled with things that need to be done. Birthday parties (my baby girl will be 3 this Friday....), making meals, taking my mom/kids to doctor's appointments, garage sale, preschool graduation, meetings, doctor's appointments for myself, packing, packing, and more packing.
(We also haven't been sleeping very well. We desperately need a new mattress, we just (selfishly) don't want to buy one! Those things are EXPENSIVE! ugh. thankfully we have the money to buy one- it's just hard to let that much cash slip through your hands!!!)
My days have been full- caring for small children and taking care of loose ends around the house. I just haven't found the inspiration (or time) for blogging. Plus, I'm just plain tired!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Dear Joshua,
It's been such a long time since I've written to you. Life has been busy, and your brother and sister have kept me on my toes. But the busyness doesn't take away my longing to see you again.
I've been doing remarkably well just trying to live life. We have fallen into a pattern of living that our family is comfortable with. We are far enough out from your death, that most people now know what happened, so the awkwardness of going to the grocery store and worrying about who I will see is pretty much gone. Now we just face the awkwardness of the dreaded question "How are you doing?"
I'm not sure how to answer that, Joshua. Some days I'm doing really well. Others, like this past weekend, I've wanted to crawl in a hole and cry the day away. Some days the pain is minimal, I can think about you, think about that awful morning that you went Home, and remember you without a tear in sight. Other days, the thought of you sends me into a full blown flashback. It shuts me down for a day, and the pain is too much to bare.
I love when I am able to think of you with joy rather than sadness. Your life meant so much to me. It brought about a richness that I have never experienced before. Your life has blessed our lives in ways that I have never shared in writing. However, when you left this Earth, you took a piece of my heart with you. I will never be the same person I was on October 5th. Everything has been rocked to it's core- my faith, my relationships, my priorities, everything is different.
Joshua, something else that I have come to terms with is that we would have never put you through what you had to endure if we had known that you weren't going to make it. Your daddy and I have no regrets in regards to your care, except for the fact that you had to endure so much in your little life. If we had known that you were going to die, we would have never put you through the Norwood or the Shunt Revision. You would have never known that kind of pain. I'm sorry, sweet baby. I'm sorry that your life only consisted of pain, drugs, and hospitals. You never knew the sunshine, the smell of home, the feeling of being tube and wire free, or the love of your brother and sister. I'm so sorry for that. Had we known, we would have taken you home and loved you with our entire being until it was time for you to go Home. You didn't deserve a life of that kind of pain. If only we had known.
Joshua, there is so much more I want to tell you, but like I said earlier, your brother and sister are keeping me on my toes. I just wish that you were here to keep me even more busy.
I love you more than I can ever express. I miss you so very much.
Love,
Your Mama
I've been doing remarkably well just trying to live life. We have fallen into a pattern of living that our family is comfortable with. We are far enough out from your death, that most people now know what happened, so the awkwardness of going to the grocery store and worrying about who I will see is pretty much gone. Now we just face the awkwardness of the dreaded question "How are you doing?"
I'm not sure how to answer that, Joshua. Some days I'm doing really well. Others, like this past weekend, I've wanted to crawl in a hole and cry the day away. Some days the pain is minimal, I can think about you, think about that awful morning that you went Home, and remember you without a tear in sight. Other days, the thought of you sends me into a full blown flashback. It shuts me down for a day, and the pain is too much to bare.
I love when I am able to think of you with joy rather than sadness. Your life meant so much to me. It brought about a richness that I have never experienced before. Your life has blessed our lives in ways that I have never shared in writing. However, when you left this Earth, you took a piece of my heart with you. I will never be the same person I was on October 5th. Everything has been rocked to it's core- my faith, my relationships, my priorities, everything is different.
Joshua, something else that I have come to terms with is that we would have never put you through what you had to endure if we had known that you weren't going to make it. Your daddy and I have no regrets in regards to your care, except for the fact that you had to endure so much in your little life. If we had known that you were going to die, we would have never put you through the Norwood or the Shunt Revision. You would have never known that kind of pain. I'm sorry, sweet baby. I'm sorry that your life only consisted of pain, drugs, and hospitals. You never knew the sunshine, the smell of home, the feeling of being tube and wire free, or the love of your brother and sister. I'm so sorry for that. Had we known, we would have taken you home and loved you with our entire being until it was time for you to go Home. You didn't deserve a life of that kind of pain. If only we had known.
Joshua, there is so much more I want to tell you, but like I said earlier, your brother and sister are keeping me on my toes. I just wish that you were here to keep me even more busy.
I love you more than I can ever express. I miss you so very much.
Love,
Your Mama
Monday, May 9, 2011
I thought I would write a post...
...that shows you the thought process and revolving list of things to do that I have swirling around in my head these days. It seems that my mind is constantly going, thinking of things that need to be done before our move in just a few weeks. (it also gets distracted quite a bit too!)
I need to dig up my flowers, take the mattress that is in our garage over to my parents garage, take the bunk beds down and exchange them for 2 twin bed frames that my parents have, I need to paint said frames, we need to call the utilities and have them transferred to our names, man- shane looks good today, I think I need a smooch.
I need to call and have them rerun that bill from my hospital visit through insurance again. They didn't do it last time...man- I loath insurance. I'm so happy that Wells Fargo is wasting SO much postage and manpower sending us stupid letters...ugh...I loath them too. Ooohhh, man, Shane just bent over in front of me...he's got such a cute booty!
I need to schedule doctor's appointments, dental appointments, and order another supply of contacts. I wish the kids would pick up their toys. I think that was a very small flutter of the baby that I just felt. I really need to get some more boxes! I wonder if this baby will look like Joshua.
I need to get our appliances up on Craigslist, but I don't want to do it too early because we still need them until June 1st. I really hope we can fit all of our belongings into a 26 foot truck! What if it doesn't all fit?! Man...I really wish Wells Fargo would stop calling- I'm starting to lose my patience with them. Jeesh, my feet are in some serious need of a pedicure and my hair is in serious need of a haircut. I think we need to probably get a mouse for the pet snake, poor thing is probably starving.
Man, I really want to make it out to the new thrift store in town. Caleb could really use some new shorts- his are starting to look like daisy dukes. Speaking of daisy dukes, I wish I could fit into some! I wonder how much weight I'm going to gain with this pregnancy. Thankfully it's not been as much as I have with the others so far! Uh oh, I feel a puke coming on. RUN!!!!
Ahhhh...I feel so much better. I suppose I should make some supper for the kids. Think they will mind another night of Arby's roast beef sandwiches? I know that's what I crave....well, that, and someone who's name starts with and S and ends in a silent E. Yeah...him too.
Whew, I'm exhausted. Is it time for bed yet?Have the kids picked up their toys yet? I hope Caleb doesn't have homework. I can't wait for this move to be OVER!
I need to dig up my flowers, take the mattress that is in our garage over to my parents garage, take the bunk beds down and exchange them for 2 twin bed frames that my parents have, I need to paint said frames, we need to call the utilities and have them transferred to our names, man- shane looks good today, I think I need a smooch.
I need to call and have them rerun that bill from my hospital visit through insurance again. They didn't do it last time...man- I loath insurance. I'm so happy that Wells Fargo is wasting SO much postage and manpower sending us stupid letters...ugh...I loath them too. Ooohhh, man, Shane just bent over in front of me...he's got such a cute booty!
I need to schedule doctor's appointments, dental appointments, and order another supply of contacts. I wish the kids would pick up their toys. I think that was a very small flutter of the baby that I just felt. I really need to get some more boxes! I wonder if this baby will look like Joshua.
I need to get our appliances up on Craigslist, but I don't want to do it too early because we still need them until June 1st. I really hope we can fit all of our belongings into a 26 foot truck! What if it doesn't all fit?! Man...I really wish Wells Fargo would stop calling- I'm starting to lose my patience with them. Jeesh, my feet are in some serious need of a pedicure and my hair is in serious need of a haircut. I think we need to probably get a mouse for the pet snake, poor thing is probably starving.
Man, I really want to make it out to the new thrift store in town. Caleb could really use some new shorts- his are starting to look like daisy dukes. Speaking of daisy dukes, I wish I could fit into some! I wonder how much weight I'm going to gain with this pregnancy. Thankfully it's not been as much as I have with the others so far! Uh oh, I feel a puke coming on. RUN!!!!
Ahhhh...I feel so much better. I suppose I should make some supper for the kids. Think they will mind another night of Arby's roast beef sandwiches? I know that's what I crave....well, that, and someone who's name starts with and S and ends in a silent E. Yeah...him too.
Whew, I'm exhausted. Is it time for bed yet?Have the kids picked up their toys yet? I hope Caleb doesn't have homework. I can't wait for this move to be OVER!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Mother's Day
Yet another day that I was not expecting to be so hard for me. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays and Anniversaries- those are the holidays that I expected to be hard- not Mother's Day.
I have2 3 living children. Why would it be difficult? I can focus on them, and not on what is missing. Or can I?
I am a mother to 4 children. 3 of them are with me. 2 can physically give me hugs and kisses, one is inside me, growing and developing. The other? I will never see him again- at least not on this side of Heaven.
So why is this Mother's Day so hard? Why do I feel like crawling into a hole and letting the day come without a single celebration or gift?
Because 1/4 of my heart is gone. 1 out of my 4 children will never get to give me a hug or kiss and look at me with a goofy smile while they hold a handmade card up for me to ooo and ahhh over.
I know I should focus on my 3 living children (especially the two who know what is going on and want to celebrate mother's day with me). I know I should not ruin the day for them, but it's so hard not to think about what should have been- the 3 little bodies that I should be snuggling in bed and telling them how much I love them.
I have
I am a mother to 4 children. 3 of them are with me. 2 can physically give me hugs and kisses, one is inside me, growing and developing. The other? I will never see him again- at least not on this side of Heaven.
So why is this Mother's Day so hard? Why do I feel like crawling into a hole and letting the day come without a single celebration or gift?
Because 1/4 of my heart is gone. 1 out of my 4 children will never get to give me a hug or kiss and look at me with a goofy smile while they hold a handmade card up for me to ooo and ahhh over.
I know I should focus on my 3 living children (especially the two who know what is going on and want to celebrate mother's day with me). I know I should not ruin the day for them, but it's so hard not to think about what should have been- the 3 little bodies that I should be snuggling in bed and telling them how much I love them.
Tangled
Tangled seems to be our favorite movie around here lately.
We've had the same DVD from Netflix since it first came out on DVD!
(I think we watched it about 15 times on the way to and from Texas!)
If you've not seen the movie, meet Rapunzel (also know as Tangled.)
picture from here |
And this is Hannah's Tangled.
(Literally Tangled. She's a hot mess!)
Friday, May 6, 2011
Less Equals More
Before we went to Texas, I was really struggling with my parenting. I was tired, frustrated, and becoming less and less patient as time wore on.
My kids were grating on my last nerve and I was about ready to explode. I was tired of the every day mundane tasks of life and all that it brings when I became the main caretaker of my kids and the house.
I have always been a "working mom." I have never once, in my 5+ years of being a mom, been a Stay At Home Mom and I enjoyed life how it was. I enjoyed the adult interaction that work brought.
But now I'm home and as time was wearing on, I was liking being a Stay At Home Mom less and less.
When my friend asked me to go take a trip to Texas with her and her children, I was nervous. That meant spending 7 entire days with my kids with no help from Shane (over 34 hours in the car with them). I felt like I might explode. But after thinking about it, I was up to the challenge so I said yes, packed our bags and off we went.
We spent the next 7 days in our van, in an RV, outside, and in hotel rooms. No TV (expect for the DVD player in the van). Just long hours with nothing to do but use our imaginations and play. Something that, sadly, my children are not used to doing.
Those 7 days that we spent in Texas have changed the way I parent and the way I look at my children.
To be completely honest with you, before that trip, our TV was on CONSTANTLY at our house. I justified it by saying that I liked the noise that it brought to our house, but I think in reality, it kept the kids "entertained" so I didn't have to. Same thing with the computer. Caleb played on the computer or on the Wii constantly. He constantly was asking if he could play, and when I said no, he would fight me- full blown tears, tantrums, and meltdowns.
My kids probably watched on average about 5-6 hours of TV a day. Wowzers....Did I really just admit that to you? Caleb played computer games/video games on average of 1-2 hours a day...Once again...did I really just admit that laziness to you!? Please be kind in your judgment of me!
Since that trip though, I've changed the way we do things around here. Starting with the TV. The TV stays off unless I'm cooking dinner. There are no video games, and there is no computer time. I want the kids to play.
So, I've been attempting something that used to scare me to death. Letting the kids be kids without the added noise and distraction of TV or computers. And I'll tell you what. It has completely changed my children (and the way I look at them).
My kids are completely different kids. They don't fight each other like they used to. They don't melt down with every "no." They play together, they play alone, they play outside without me having to force them out! They (voluntarily) play out in the cold, in the rain, and they build forts. They get out their dress up costumes that I was contemplating getting rid of when we move- (they NEVER played with them before!) They paint, color, read books, play with playdough, and use their imaginations!
All without me telling them to do so, AND without asking to watch TV or movies. Seriously, they don't even ask for movies or TV time!!
The tantrums, melt downs, and crankiness have gone away (on both of our parts.) I've actually enjoyed just watching my kids be kids- playing and imagining things together. I've enjoyed watching them work out their own problems without me having to be the referee that is constantly breaking up battles between them.
I've also noticed that I am more motivated to get up off my hiney and actually take care of them and my house. Sure, my house is much messier because of all the toys that are played with throughout the day, but I don't mind. The kids are happy, which means I have to devote less of my time being the mean monster mom and can just simply enjoy watching them be children.
I never, in my wildest dreams, thought that I would ever be able to just turn the TV off and let them be kids. I thought the transition from TV to no TV was going to be awful- a constant battle for power. I never imagined my kids without melt downs, tears, and screaming. I never imagined myself actually truly enjoying my children and joining in on their little games. But as I've quickly learned, the less TV time we have, the more I enjoy being a Stay At Home Mom (and the more my kids enjoy themselves and their childhood!)
My kids were grating on my last nerve and I was about ready to explode. I was tired of the every day mundane tasks of life and all that it brings when I became the main caretaker of my kids and the house.
I have always been a "working mom." I have never once, in my 5+ years of being a mom, been a Stay At Home Mom and I enjoyed life how it was. I enjoyed the adult interaction that work brought.
But now I'm home and as time was wearing on, I was liking being a Stay At Home Mom less and less.
When my friend asked me to go take a trip to Texas with her and her children, I was nervous. That meant spending 7 entire days with my kids with no help from Shane (over 34 hours in the car with them). I felt like I might explode. But after thinking about it, I was up to the challenge so I said yes, packed our bags and off we went.
We spent the next 7 days in our van, in an RV, outside, and in hotel rooms. No TV (expect for the DVD player in the van). Just long hours with nothing to do but use our imaginations and play. Something that, sadly, my children are not used to doing.
Those 7 days that we spent in Texas have changed the way I parent and the way I look at my children.
To be completely honest with you, before that trip, our TV was on CONSTANTLY at our house. I justified it by saying that I liked the noise that it brought to our house, but I think in reality, it kept the kids "entertained" so I didn't have to. Same thing with the computer. Caleb played on the computer or on the Wii constantly. He constantly was asking if he could play, and when I said no, he would fight me- full blown tears, tantrums, and meltdowns.
My kids probably watched on average about 5-6 hours of TV a day. Wowzers....Did I really just admit that to you? Caleb played computer games/video games on average of 1-2 hours a day...Once again...did I really just admit that laziness to you!? Please be kind in your judgment of me!
Since that trip though, I've changed the way we do things around here. Starting with the TV. The TV stays off unless I'm cooking dinner. There are no video games, and there is no computer time. I want the kids to play.
So, I've been attempting something that used to scare me to death. Letting the kids be kids without the added noise and distraction of TV or computers. And I'll tell you what. It has completely changed my children (and the way I look at them).
My kids are completely different kids. They don't fight each other like they used to. They don't melt down with every "no." They play together, they play alone, they play outside without me having to force them out! They (voluntarily) play out in the cold, in the rain, and they build forts. They get out their dress up costumes that I was contemplating getting rid of when we move- (they NEVER played with them before!) They paint, color, read books, play with playdough, and use their imaginations!
All without me telling them to do so, AND without asking to watch TV or movies. Seriously, they don't even ask for movies or TV time!!
The tantrums, melt downs, and crankiness have gone away (on both of our parts.) I've actually enjoyed just watching my kids be kids- playing and imagining things together. I've enjoyed watching them work out their own problems without me having to be the referee that is constantly breaking up battles between them.
I've also noticed that I am more motivated to get up off my hiney and actually take care of them and my house. Sure, my house is much messier because of all the toys that are played with throughout the day, but I don't mind. The kids are happy, which means I have to devote less of my time being the mean monster mom and can just simply enjoy watching them be children.
I never, in my wildest dreams, thought that I would ever be able to just turn the TV off and let them be kids. I thought the transition from TV to no TV was going to be awful- a constant battle for power. I never imagined my kids without melt downs, tears, and screaming. I never imagined myself actually truly enjoying my children and joining in on their little games. But as I've quickly learned, the less TV time we have, the more I enjoy being a Stay At Home Mom (and the more my kids enjoy themselves and their childhood!)
Thursday, May 5, 2011
NOT CUTE!
So Hannah got this Barbie toy for Christmas last year. We have kept it in a closet until just recently because she was still too little for some of the pieces. However, she has gained interest in Barbies lately, so as I was cleaning out a closet, I decided I wanted to give her a few of the things we had stashed away.
This was kinda cute, and I thought maybe it would help some with getting her potty trained. (it came with a little girl, a sink, and a step stool...perfect for helping explain going potty on the big girl potty!)
See what I mean? It has a mini toilet paper holder and everything! What a great way for us to talk about what big girls do and get her interested! She can pretend that her Barbies have to go potty and then we can try the real thing with Hannah!
Aww...that's kinda cute...it even has some swirly water in it. Oh! And it flushes complete with sound and all! Alright. This is cute!
WHAT IN THE WORLD?! When you flush the toilet, the blue swirly part turns over and look at what you see.
A toilet...complete with pee and poo. Ok, this thing is not as cute as I thought it was. I wish they would have left it with just the cute swirly blue water...really? Does it really need poo in the middle? Gross. And what happened to having to leave things up to the imagination? Isn't that what Barbies (and all toys for that matter) are supposed to do?!
Way to keep it classy Mattel! Way. to. keep. it. classy.
This was kinda cute, and I thought maybe it would help some with getting her potty trained. (it came with a little girl, a sink, and a step stool...perfect for helping explain going potty on the big girl potty!)
See what I mean? It has a mini toilet paper holder and everything! What a great way for us to talk about what big girls do and get her interested! She can pretend that her Barbies have to go potty and then we can try the real thing with Hannah!
Aww...that's kinda cute...it even has some swirly water in it. Oh! And it flushes complete with sound and all! Alright. This is cute!
WHAT IN THE WORLD?! When you flush the toilet, the blue swirly part turns over and look at what you see.
A toilet...complete with pee and poo. Ok, this thing is not as cute as I thought it was. I wish they would have left it with just the cute swirly blue water...really? Does it really need poo in the middle? Gross. And what happened to having to leave things up to the imagination? Isn't that what Barbies (and all toys for that matter) are supposed to do?!
Way to keep it classy Mattel! Way. to. keep. it. classy.
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