tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post3701215176032536154..comments2024-01-11T16:41:01.570-05:00Comments on The Real Life of a Red Head: I wasn't ready, but I'm glad it's over.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-62875935909066123762012-01-23T11:59:43.204-05:002012-01-23T11:59:43.204-05:00I think you did the right thing explaining it the ...I think you did the right thing explaining it the way you did.Bumperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02418218051890757256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-5688996878003828752012-01-23T04:41:37.109-05:002012-01-23T04:41:37.109-05:00Way to Go!!!Way to Go!!!A Daft Scots Lasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01922985143036647579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-58340497131848974642012-01-23T04:08:29.914-05:002012-01-23T04:08:29.914-05:00What incredible and brave parents you are for EVER...What incredible and brave parents you are for EVERYTHING you have been through but for not glossing over anything and being honest. I studied to become a Child Life Specialist in college and I think it is so important to be truthful with kids, they feel deeply and are so much more intuitive with these things than we realize. You are doing a WONDERFUL job explaining things to him.<br /><br />Sending love and light your way.ahappygirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15125801880603246127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-76328338591875073252012-01-23T01:44:01.597-05:002012-01-23T01:44:01.597-05:00Whoa! Wow! I agree with Auntie Mip (above)...how y...Whoa! Wow! I agree with Auntie Mip (above)...how you handled this was beautiful. I also agree with you: crap. Cannot imagine having to have this conversation!!! But I know God's grace was not just on you as you chose your words but also on Caleb and Hannah as they listened, helping their little minds understand in their own way. <br />Praying for that continued grace upon you all. <br />xo~MaryAuntie Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06610977491641901739noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-52845502438891516702012-01-23T00:58:45.539-05:002012-01-23T00:58:45.539-05:00great job, mama. the hardest part of the grief jou...great job, mama. the hardest part of the grief journey for me has been mairi's reprocessing of grief at each new cognitive stage. it's like she has to remourn/regrieve/reprocess, which meant for a long time (from probably 3-5) that we had to enter into that with her too. it was so painful, and so hard to be unable to protect her from that, and made me so angry that this was her reality. like even if *I* somehow deserved this, SHE was so innocent, SHE did not deserve to feel and know such pain and loss at such an early age. that was and kind of continues to be one of the hardest things for me to "forgive" God for, about the whole situation, if you will. Mairi's loss. I am a grown up, I can deal (Barely...at first) but her, she was only 25 months! catti was supposed to be her best friend, close in age, two peas in a pod...etc etc. but our ways our not His, obviously, so I had to trust esp in this part of His plan, that His will for M's life included this loss, this pain, this depth of feeling and knowing God in a way many don't their whole lives for a reason. Even if I hate every minute of it. But anyway, I too believe in being real and honest and she has looked at catti's ashes and talked about cremation vs burial (she wants to be "burned up" too...ugh) and all that...it's so real, it's so hard, but it's so important. so for honoring your child, and what God wants to do in HIS life and his future through this, you will be blessed, I just know it. <3<br /><br />JENJENhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07931773798744080086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-37202997404163892432012-01-23T00:06:54.536-05:002012-01-23T00:06:54.536-05:00Oh boy... I'm not really looking forward to th...Oh boy... I'm not really looking forward to that discussion with Erina when she asks about Julia and Evan!<br /><br />She's a social butterfly and loves smiling at people. I showed her the book I was looking at (Nana's book of Evan's life, had a big picture of Evan on the cover) and she smiled this big huge toothy 16mo grin as I said "that's your big cousin baby Evan!"<br /><br />Oh boy.... I'm glad Caleb is asking about Joshua.Ausmerican Housewife - Creating with Kara Davieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16075297679140718497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-36210081611090876312012-01-22T22:46:59.941-05:002012-01-22T22:46:59.941-05:00I can't pretend to know what your family has b...I can't pretend to know what your family has been through and is going through. I would never insult you by trying. But, I KNOW this, I LOVE you.Stephanie, Daughter of the Risen Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18140911059160632974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-34569477228064801092012-01-22T20:59:41.883-05:002012-01-22T20:59:41.883-05:00There is a wonderful book called Tear Soup by Pat ...There is a wonderful book called Tear Soup by Pat Schweibert. She is a hospice RN. It is intended for children but I have given it to countless families who lost children and parents alike. It is a beautiful analogy for death. Caleb is the perfect age. I highly recommend it. And as for the hard questions regarding your dear daddy, you will know the right answers JIll. You will because you know what is true. And as you have already identified, with truth comes a peace that passes all understanding. I have prayed for you a thousand times since your precious Joshua died. I will say a thousand more prayers for you.Auntie Miphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08587331779041550284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-61833963239243792872012-01-22T16:13:04.877-05:002012-01-22T16:13:04.877-05:00xoxoxoxoxoxoJill https://www.blogger.com/profile/05480998926938144262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-86434615942345295092012-01-22T16:12:24.324-05:002012-01-22T16:12:24.324-05:00I've not heard of Rainbows. We have a group he...I've not heard of Rainbows. We have a group here at a local church that offers a program called GriefShare. It's been a good program for all of us. :o)<br /><br />I'll have to try to research Rainbows and see what it's all about! Thanks for the suggestion!Jill https://www.blogger.com/profile/05480998926938144262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-34714883010354102672012-01-22T16:11:07.649-05:002012-01-22T16:11:07.649-05:00You are very right. I don't always see or feel...You are very right. I don't always see or feel the grace because the pain is too much. But even in the midst of the pain, there is always peace. Sometimes I don't understand the peace, but it's there. <br /><br />I have been dreading that conversation for a while, and I have been praying that the Holy Spirit would give me the words when the question came. I continue to pray for the right words as we are sure to get more questions as dad faces his cancer. <br /><br />It's not an easy concept to teach and talk about for sure.Jill https://www.blogger.com/profile/05480998926938144262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-35228995155150341252012-01-22T16:00:53.760-05:002012-01-22T16:00:53.760-05:00You handled that beautifully, Friend. I'm not ...You handled that beautifully, Friend. I'm not sure that you would have ever felt ready to answer that question. It's so important for kids to feel comfortable to ask the questions that come to mind. I think it speaks very highly of your and Shane's gift for parenting that he feels ok in asking these tough questions instead of being afraid that they will add more pain to your already overburdened hearts. This is such an incredibly tough time in your lives. I'm still praying and I'm still sending all of my loveMcEngland like the McCountryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14346771516168918953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-54272459905542941162012-01-22T15:54:37.268-05:002012-01-22T15:54:37.268-05:00Jill,
This might seem an odd choice of words. Bu...Jill,<br /><br />This might seem an odd choice of words. But your conversation with your little boy was beautiful. It is wrong and awful and painful to ever have to discuss death with a 5 year old. But it is your family's reality. Your ability to be truthful. To show your pain at Joshua's death. To grieve openly and honestly about his death, your dad's cancer...all of this will shape the way Caleb grieves as a child, a teen and an adult. It was hard. It was painful. It was beautiful. I am so very sorry for your continued pain. I am awed at the grace you show. My guess is you don't always see the grace, feel the grace, believe the grace. I pray that when the pain is most acute that this same grace washes over you like a warm, soothing waterfall of relief. God Bless you Jill for having the grace to tell your son the truth so that he might always know the life beyond this life and that one day his family will be whole again. That there is no fear in death. There is pain, oh my yes there is pain for those left behind. But there is grace and hope and eternity.Auntie Miphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08587331779041550284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-33621354435293271412012-01-22T15:51:11.747-05:002012-01-22T15:51:11.747-05:00I'm not sure if this has been mentioned before...I'm not sure if this has been mentioned before, but many churches and schools offer a program called "Rainbows" to help children deal with grief, especially in cases of death or divorce. My children really loved it.stardustdawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14097246752338563797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-17278075999307874102012-01-22T15:10:55.727-05:002012-01-22T15:10:55.727-05:00I'm not so sure it's bravery. It's mor...I'm not so sure it's bravery. It's more just doing what we have to do. Believe me, we wouldn't be having these conversations with the kids if we didn't experience it. <br /><br />Thank you for your encouragement though!Jill https://www.blogger.com/profile/05480998926938144262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557719621411312017.post-74584214239987611412012-01-22T15:02:39.507-05:002012-01-22T15:02:39.507-05:00I cannot get over how incredible brave you are. C...I cannot get over how incredible brave you are. Caleb is so much wiser because he has a mommy like you. I admire you for your honesty with your children and the world.Mandie Hamrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04337312786078016135noreply@blogger.com