Thursday, February 18, 2010

Well Fed and Wimpy

Just got back from the peri (the specialist). The warnings were correct, he was a funny way....

In a matter of 10 minutes he managed to call me "well fed" and Shane a "wimp!" At first I was taken by surprised, but then I just laughed. How could I not?

Basically the report is the same as what the previous doctor has said. It's a waiting game. It doesn't make sense to try to drain it because the hemorrhage at this point is "blood pudding" in his exact words. If anything tragic is going to happen, it will happen within the next few weeks and there is nothing anyone can do about it. If WHEN we make it to 18 weeks we will have the fight of our lives to keep that baby strong and healthy for at least another 5 weeks, hopefully another 22 weeks.

There was something else that he noticed. The baby's heart pretty much glows on the ultrasound. It looks like it's almost bone like density. He was concerned about that. But then with further checking, there is no fluid around the heart or in the base of the neck that indicates heart failure. The heart is functioning well, and all the parts that should be there by now are there. He thinks it is either some calcification or some pigmentation. Either way, as long as it is functioning fine (which it is) he will just keep an eye on it. Pray that this is nothing and goes away. I'm not going to worry about it. One thing at a time, and as long as he is not worried, I'm not worried.

I don't know why, but after these appointments, I am just emotionally drained. There really was no bad news, there really was no good news. Just the same. But I'm drained. I've gotten a few calls this afternoon from friends wondering how things are, and I just don't even have the energy to answer. I'm sorry if you were one of those people calling. I'm just exhausted.

Continued prayers are still appreciated. I'm feeling hopeful and at peace. I guess at the least I can be thankful that I'm "well fed!"


Amanda Fluharty said...

When I was pregnant with Camden, he also had a glowing heart. We were told that it meant nothing (usually it is an indicator of downs, which Camden didn't have). We were told that it wasnt' a heart defect, and whatever it was wouldn't affect him after he was born. And they were right.

My heart has been so heavy for you, and I haven't really commented because I haven't really known what to say. But know that you are on my mind, that I am praying for you and your family and your baby more fiercly than I have prayed for anything in a long time. You are an inspiration to me, that you keep going, you keep believing, and that even in your doubt, you are still faithful. I know that whatever happens will just bring you closer to God, but I still find myself praying that your baby is spared, and not necessarily that God's will be done. I think that's more of the mom in me than anything else. I find it amazing that I feel so intensly for someone that I've never met in person, but I do. And I pray every day because of you. <3 <3 <3

The Real Life of a Red Head said...

Amanda, you have no idea how much that means to me. I appreciate your care and concern for me even though we have never met. Thank you so much for crying out to God on my baby's behalf. I can't help but think that no matter how long or short this child's life is, that he was already created for a BIG purpose.

Gramma said...

Hugs and prayers for you, sweetie! Hug and kiss for that 'wimp' too. OK, give him two. Lov'en on ya and Joshua. Love the pix of Caleb and Hanna. Gramma

Brandy said...

I am actually a friend of a friend. I received reports like this all through out my pregnancy. Different situation but just as scary. I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your child. That you will look back on this after your child's first birthday and thank God for His provision. I know that it may not turn out this way but regardless I am praying for that and that God holds you and protects you and your family during this time.

Avery Tales said...

I'm so glad to hear that your visit went okay. As you know, you've been in my prayers and will continue to be. You're almost 14 weeks and that's a huge step in the SCH world! It sounds like your baby is still right on track, praise God!

I'm 22 weeks 5 days and my SCH is still almost 4 cm. Our baby girl continues to grow in the 52nd percentile, so it can be done! I was even released from the peri's care today. She said she fully expects for everything to go smoothly from here out. So chin up! I'm confident that you will have a healthy and happy baby when all of this is done and I believe we'll both be better Mommies because of our experience.

Amy said...

I can't even explain how relieved I was to read this post (Confession: I sat at my desk at work refreshing your blog all afternoon, though you didn't post till last night so I was able to read it before I went to bed). It wasn't bad news, YAY! I will continue to pray for you, baby Joshua, your family, and for wisdom for your doctors who are closely watching you.

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